Fri. Aug 21, 2009 | 11:16 AM
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Get over it?

We've all gone through those ruts in life when we can't get over something that has happened.

Whether it is breaking up with your boyfriend or the auto-replay in your memory of that heated argument you had with your mom, sometimes it's hard to move forward.

Tell Us: Are you dwelling on things from your past?


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Back in 2007, my grandmother, my father, my sister in law, my baby nephew and my little sister all passed away. I was 17 when this all happened and (needless to say) I was a total wreck for a long time. With the support of my husband and his family, I learned to let go of the anger and grew to understand that my being jaded and bitter was only hurting myself and those who care for me. I miss my family every second of every day, buy I am no longer held back by my own toxic feelings. Acceptance is the key. Best wishes to everyone.
Posted by Sherry 11/12/09 11:37 PM
 
Back in 2007, my grandmother, my father, my sister in law, my baby nephew and my little sister all passed away. I was 17 when this all happened and (needless to say) I was a total wreck for a long time. With the support of my husband and his family, I learned to let go of the anger and grew to understand that my being jaded and bitter was only hurting myself and those who care for me. I miss my family every second of every day, buy I am no longer held back by my own toxic feelings. Acceptance is the key. Best wishes to everyone.
Posted by Sherry 11/12/09 11:36 PM
 
Iam 21 years old amd i have been sexually abuse by my father... And what makes everything worst my mother allowed it.. since that ive been beating by guys and i have been raped!!! i have very low self astem do to my family and everything i went through.... I cant let go what ive been through i still cant take a shower with my eyes closed because when i was little my dad used to watch me take a shower so when i try to close my eyes in the shower i see his face.... Do to everything i feel like im nothing and i shouldnt be here.... I cut to try to hide the pain i have inside cause is to much to haddle and the bad part i cant find the way to stop cutting my self is something ive been doing for years and its out of my control
Posted by jessica soto 11/11/09 8:27 AM
 
Hi tyra, im 15 years old and im in a wheelchair. On august 22, 2008 i walked in Cincinnati Children's Hospital and had scoliosis surgery. After that first surgery i had 3 major suregeries. When i would ask anybody in the hospital what happened they would tell me and my family that they didnt know that it jus happens and it happened to me. I was 13 back then and im trying real hard to focous on the future but i cant let the fact that im paralyzed and nobody knows why. Eveytime i wake up in the morning i think its just a dream and i can walk again. But i cant.
Posted by Jade 11/08/09 5:08 PM
 
Hi Tyra, When i was younger i always thought i had the greatest family , until my parents got a divorce and the ugly truth came out . My father wasnt the man i thought he was , instead he turned out to be a coward, a chronic lier , and a total jerk. I found out alot of things as i grew older. things started to make sense . He would only call me if he was intoxicated. He would only ask to see me on hlidays. and get this he doesnt even remeber how old i am , what grade im going into. or special dates such as my birthday. He got remarried. im not going to lie , i was happy for him . Until i found out she was a horrible person. it was almost as if she wanted to take my mothers place. My dad would tell me to do one thing and she would tell me to stop and start on another. almost as if he had no authority. My twin sister and i felt the same way about her , and it stopped us from seeing out father . WE told him how we felt many times . we asked if we could spend time alone . he said we would , but when he showed up , she was in the front seat. they had a little girl , she looks just like me ! and its hard not ebing in her life . My father never litsened to me . i wrote him a letter when i was around 8 , asking him to spend time alone and have a real father in my life. it wasnt until i turned 14 that my mother told me , she had found
Posted by Vickie woods 11/06/09 9:15 PM
 
Hi Tyra, I watch your show al of the time. I was married for 16 years and I still have problems letting go of the abuse that I went through. I'm a larger person and have a very bad self imagae of myself due to the verbal and mental abuse that I was subject to not only by my ex but by my family also. It's had to look mast myself in the mirror and not hate the image that I see..I have worked hard to try and over come this but I still can't. I have meet a great guy who takes me for me but this issue keeps coming up. Tyra please help me get over this.
Posted by kathy 11/04/09 1:59 PM
 
Hi,Tyra,there alot of stuff we dont forget in our life,but for me it 7 years ago,when my adoptive mother died of cancer,and at the same time i learned my daughter was molested.But apart of that it was a person i TRUSTED that stole all my inheretence,80.000 dollard i was on welfare and that men ,had his compagnie,beautiful house,and i hade nothing,but the worste i was so sick for mounth during that time,i didnt know what he was doing.I felt so guilty toward my adoptive parents.But forgave him,because hate and anger destroid my life and those around me.Today i wating to have money from gouvernement,1 mounth its hell,but i am SRTONGER than ever.love your show.Linda
Posted by Linda 11/03/09 1:41 PM
 
hello every one well i cannot get over my past, first of all my father left when i was 2, he left us(family) behind because of money nd other girls i know because his own sister has told me, and ever since he left he kept on promise after promise he never ever in my whole life since i can remember paid child suport fos us, or not even take the time to see what were our needs!!!!!!! so i hate him really really strongly bad but at the same time i miss him i have not seen him for about 9 years since i was 9..... i donnot know where he is or how he is so i think of him nd his mistake of missing out on us... specially now dat hes become a grandfather... :( hate him but miss him.... in times i feel like he never wished for me to be born.... nd i never have felt like daddys lil' girl....
Posted by baby-mama 10/30/09 5:00 PM
 
so i'm 26 and when i was young my dad use to hit us(my bro's and sis) and i think it really affected me i find it hard to form a relationship with my dad not only that but having a stable relationship is hard he would beat me with a belt till i was bruised and couldn't sit without terrible pain after he would say i do this because i love you i grew up thinking well love=pain this isn't the only thing that has affected me beside my dad be an authoritarian parent my mom was extremely permissive (if u know psychology at all it's a horrible match) my dad controlled and my mom gave in it's been years but i'm tryng hard to overcome i've been in a relationship for a yr now and am successfully going to college but as for the emotional stuff i'm still lacking what it takes to be stable and not constantly angry or sad maybe soon i'll let the whole thing go
Posted by faith 10/28/09 6:15 PM
 
Hey Tyra, I am 13 and even though i am young i've been through a lot in my life, but the worst thing that has happened to me was when my step sister dana committed suicide. She died 10 months ago. I don't really know why she killed herself and it really gets to me. There's not a day since she died that i dont think about her. I really loved her and i miss her. But the thing is that it seems to me that suicide comes up in the people i love most, one of my friends cut himself and thinks about killing himself and this past summer my camp boyfriend told me he had tried killing himself once too. He never told anyone but me and i thought that i should tell someone, so i told a counsler and his parents were informed and they didnt do anything, which makes me mad because who knows if he ever tries doing it again. I feel so responsible for all of these people that are thinking about it, done it, or tried it. It really hurts me.
Posted by Sydney 10/27/09 3:32 PM
 
i hold on to alot of hurt about my father coming in and out of my life...but i never express it.... instead i put up a facade of hate in the place of the hurt i feel
Posted by dezzie 10/27/09 10:51 AM
 
Well when I was younger (im 16)I was very close to my 1 and only sister. I was the 1 that was never included in the family activites but she always stayed with me and made me feel like I was number 1 in everything. When I was ten She was 14. I seen her shoot and killed infront of my eyes. I have never gt over that day it replays in me head everysingle nite. Recently my mother found out that she has beast cancer.So we struggle everyday. She works when she is not suposed to and i am very worried about her. I think that she is going to die from trying to take care of me and her.She will not let me get a job so i cant help her like I want to so that really hurts me inside. Im have chest pains from stressing and it may kill me. Im Scared That im going to let my past controll my future
Posted by unknown 10/25/09 10:11 AM
 
Tyra, I read this poll and I thought right away of one person. My ex-best friend. Her and I were best friends for a year and a half, but it seemed more than that. We finished each others sentences, shared the same interest, and planned to be each others god mom for each others child. I would say, that in the past she was one of my very best friends, at the time. I still wonder why our friendship ended, I mean some of it makes sense but other things still remain. I don't know why I'm still holding on to this friend even though we haven't been friends for so long and I know that if we become friends again now, it would be different because so much has happened between now and then. I mean I know that I am blessed with my current best friends, but losing that friendship seemed kind of a waste. Somewhere inside of me is holding on.Blah..
Posted by Anjelica Faber 10/24/09 8:25 PM
 
Well, I was completely ignorant in my first real relationship I've ever had. (I'm only 16) I really thought I was going to marry this boy, I loved him more than I loved myself, my family, my friends, everyone. We only dated for about 8 months but it wasn't more than clear about how much I was absolutely in love with him. It wasn't like he didn't feel the same way either, he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. It wasn't infactuation, or puppy love. He was my everything. Seeing as we don't go to the same school, trust was a hard thing to have with one another. He would have his friends spy on me to make sure I never did anything with any other guy and I didn't. I have a few close guy friends but I would never do that to him I respected and loved him way too much to even consider doing that to him. The last few months of our relationship were terrible. He accused me of cheating on him twice, which is not true. In this instance though, I was guilty until proven inncoent. We broke up on August 27th, 2009. I haven't stopped thinking about him... I still know in my heart that I love him more than anything in the entire world. We didn't talk for over a month after breaking up until after my high school played his high school in football and he texted me after the game. We talked about getting back together but it's one of those situations where I think he said that just to make me feel better, words can't even explain how much I want to get back with him I'm nervous that if I give this
Posted by Ellen 10/21/09 1:55 PM
 
I'm 17. I've been stuck in the past, ever since I can remember. But it only seems to occur with my serious boyfriends. My first boyfriend, I held every small insignificant mistake he ever made against him. And I finally moved on to someone who was just as a nice guy as he was, and he continuously stops talking to me for weeks at a time because I hold onto things he did. Then I end up holding that grudge against him. I hold onto him hooking up with my best friend before we dated, which was when we first met and I wasn't best friends with her at the time. I hold it against him that he dated one of his good friends sisters back when he was only 13, even though she doesn't live anywhere around him anymore and they don't talk. I hold it against him for going dancing with a girl his friend was trying to persue while we were dating. And I've cheated on him before and he forgives me instantly every time. My mom's an alcoholic, and I hold every day she's ever drank against her. I'm not nearly as bad as I use to be, but I want to be able to let everything go. And i need help doing so.
Posted by Morgan 10/21/09 1:25 PM



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