Fri. Jul 24, 2009 | 5:58 AM

How to break up the bromance ... before it breaks up your relationship.

bromance.jpgWe're all used to the guys' night mystique -- we want to have our own girls' nights as well! Usually, a girl would never think of coming between her man and his best friend. But what happens when he seems to honor that relationship more than yours? Use a few of these tips and break the bonds of the bromance!

Encourage Rather than Discourage
If you think about how close you are with some of your girls, you can't really judge your guy for having an equally close friend. The problem is not that he has a very close friend, the problem is that he opts to spend more time with the friend then you. If your guy has a scheduled guys' night every week -- let him know how great you think that is. That way, he knows you want him to continue his man-to-man friendship rather than giving up his boy cold turkey.

Get in on the Bromance
Maybe it's just that your boyfriend doesn't think you know his boy very well -- and therefore ends up leaving you out by accident. If you love your guy, and he loves his boy, chances are you'll at least like his friend enough to hang out with him for a night. Also, showing him your friendly side -- rather than just your romantic side -- will make him include you as part of his group of friends.

Cut Your Losses
As we've said, encourage the bromance to an extent and be supportive of his friendships. The more you support him, the more he will see that you care about his feelings and relationships. If he's still not making time for you, there is probably an underlying issue that has nothing to do with his friendship. Investigate that and take it from there. The key here: Don't blame it all on the bromance. If he loves you, he'll honor your feelings. If not, kiss him -- and his bromance -- buh-bye!


NEXT: Bromances!
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If it were two women would this even be a discussion?
Posted by kj 07/24/09 12:14 PM
 
what's the big deal? girls call each other "girlfriend" and have matching friendship bracelets and rings
Posted by tracey 07/24/09 10:33 AM
 
Some of the relationships in this episode (a rerun now) have some problems for sure. Aside from that, one of the problems in society is that men are not learning how to have a close personal relationship with other men and in many cases women. The fear of being gay, called gay, appearing gay, etc. prevents very healthy male relationships. Besides that, there are not many role models. You will note that the men in "bromances" on this show were not out being thugs or rebels or engaged in some kind of criminal activity for fun. If they were, then I doubt we would refer to them as being in a "Bromance." The term bromance is the further erosion of male bonding and there is a good chance the term will become a negative before long. 2 friends that just hang out because they love each other as friends is ok for women. Women can say I love you to each other whenever they want. Men who do this are suspected of gayness. Romance or bromance, each relationship has to have boundaries. Women should never obstruct a positive male-male relationship, but men must also learn how to keep the relationship with their women alive and well. "Guy stuff" and male-male relationships are important in teaching a boy how to become a well rounded man. And the well rounded man makes for a better friend, husband, father and role model. We need a few more of those.
Posted by zibignew_C 07/24/09 8:08 AM
 
Marius is my cousins cousin and i know for a fact the dude aint gay...at least i think?
Posted by James 11/10/08 6:00 PM
 
marius whats ur myspace so i can add u? =)
Posted by m 11/06/08 9:15 PM
 
Great story.! Now I see why my marriage has been ultra stormy during my last 22 years. I swear, I don't know how I hung in there. Now I know that I have a right to be number one. Boundaries must be set. But only he can "tone down" his Bro-Mance. You have to let go of the results and plan your life with out him if he continues to disrespect your relationship as a couple. You teach people how to treat you. I have finally seen the light. It's all about boundaries and respect. Your relationship should be number one priority in his life. If he refuses to act accordingly then make other plans with some one more worthy of your time and love. Don't throw pearls before swine so to speak. And, watch what he DOES,(his actions) not the blarney he speaks to you. You should be the ultimate priority in his life and where he spends his time. Good luck out there, God Speed. Thanks Please have a follow up about this show.!
Posted by Bonnie2 11/06/08 8:13 AM
 
Married for YEARS to a man who always had rational excuses for spending more time with his best "friend", he'd say " i had no idea he was coming", or " we just HAve to do x...then you and I will spend time". Hubbie had me believing that the next day or next week I'd come first. Guess what, he is still AWESOME at pretending he doesn't want to spend time with the guy, would rather be with me, but he HAS to just this time.... And YEARS and YEARS LATER I am STILL WAITING. I am left out of plans because they are made by him with his "friend". The "friend" has changed a few times over the years, I have gotten to be "the friend" a few months at a time, but for the most part, my life ENDED and my husbands BEGAN-with his friend-when we got married. Please realize that if you date a man like this, you will be married to a man like this. Marriage changes things-for about 3 months, then your problems simply become full-time instead of part time. Your man doesn't need the benefit of the doubt, he doesn't need more love-he may need a man like he wanted Daddy to be, and resents what he will perceive as a controlling woman like mommy used to be-NO MATTER WHO you happen to really be. Watch him with his family, LISTEN to how he talks about his mother, sister, old girlfriends, see if his father is intimate or distant with his mother or current woman-NO MATTER the circumstances, no matter what "sins" she is said to have committed, odds are YOU will be in her position one day if you stay.
Posted by dwade 11/03/08 8:09 AM
 
Marrius is in the closet & is dating a girl because his parents won't accept a gay relashionship. See it starts off because he is attracted to his self then he projects this on to his friend because he feels his friend looks like him & his sexual feelings are for guys. His girl friend is really pretty so he is using her because it would be a disaster to come out of the closet with his family. That's why he came on the show to see how well this will be accepted. You can tell Marius is really gay & just can't deal with being labled as gay. Allot of pretty boys like him have the same issues. It's normal for a straight looking & acting guy to see another guy as good looking but find girly guys are gay acting as repulsive. A sign that a guy is gay or really gay is when they are questioned if a guy is good looking or about there sexualality. A really straight guy won't get nervous or anxious when they don't question there sexualality. All these guys are gay on the show & maybe one of the groups which I you can tell all of the guys on here have had sex with each other. This could be normal between straight guys but all these guys were very gay acting on the show. But you know who really cares unless people are in doubt of there own sexualality or just major jelouse or atracted to one of them. If you notice people don't pick on people with these issues when the guys are ugly. Right? BUt if you have them where one is good looking they are picked on.
Posted by Jonathan 10/30/08 9:57 PM
 
Marrius is in the closet & is dating a girl because his parents won't accept a gay relashionship. See it starts off because he is attracted to his self then he projects this on to his friend because he feels his friend looks like him & his sexual feelings are for guys. His girl friend is really pretty so he is using her because it would be a disaster to come out of the closet with his family. That's why he came on the show to see how well this will be accepted. You can tell Marius is really gay & just can't deal with being labled as gay. Allot of pretty boys like him have the same issues. It's normal for a straight looking & acting guy to see another guy as good looking but find girly guys are gay acting as repulsive. A sign that a guy is gay or really gay is when they are questioned if a guy is good looking or about there sexualality. A really straight guy won't get nervous or anxious when they don't question there sexualality. All these guys are gay on the show & maybe one of the groups which I you can tell all of the guys on here have had sex with each other. This could be normal between straight guys but all these guys were very gay acting on the show. But you know who really cares unless people are in doubt of there own sexualality or just major jelouse or atracted to one of them. If you notice people don't pick on people with these issues when the guys are ugly. Right? BUt if you have them where one is good looking they are picked on.
Posted by Jonathan 10/30/08 9:55 PM
 
my main issue with a bromance is his my boyfriends "boyfriend" was my friend since we were 12! i introduced them a while ago and now they are inseperable. i love both of them and they dont ever disclude me, but i get annoyed hanging out with them because they are like two little kids together... the worst part about it is we live together and theyre always playing video games like theyre 16 again. ive been with my boyfriend for over 6 years and his little "boyfriend" has been my friend for like 10! IM JUST A LITTLE ANNOYED and dont know what to do.
Posted by bigbooty 10/29/08 12:14 AM
 
my main issue with a bromance is his my boyfriends "boyfriend" was my friend since we were 12! i introduced them a while ago and now they are inseperable. i love both of them and they dont ever disclude me, but i get annoyed hanging out with them because they are like two little kids together... the worst part about it is we live together and theyre always playing video games like theyre 16 again. ive been with my boyfriend for over 6 years and his little "boyfriend" has been my friend for like 10! IM JUST A LITTLE ANNOYED and dont know what to do.
Posted by bigbooty 10/29/08 12:13 AM
 
Quentin is gfay
Posted by Anonymous 10/28/08 3:23 PM
 
See my boyfriend's best friend is a girl and I try to let him have his fun with her, and I try asking him if I can hang out with them, but it seems as if he just doesn't want me to be around when they hang out.
Posted by Cheryl Reid 10/28/08 11:05 AM
 
See my boyfriend's best friend is a girl and I try to let him have his fun with her, and I try asking him if I can hang out with them, but it seems as if he just doesn't want me to be around when they hang out.
Posted by Cheryl Reid 10/28/08 11:04 AM
 
**For Ray (from the show)**Dude, your saving grace was that your friend did not know which bum was yours! But still...c'mon! My husband is definitely not a homophobe and he's very secure in himself. Our relationship is great and we have wonderful communication. But still, he does not hold hands across the table with his buddies, or kiss them, or grab their butts! Maybe you're much younger and that's how young guys joke around (none that I know, but hey!). At any rate, if you have any homosexual feelings (at all), the right thing to do is not to get some girl all tied up with you and hurt her. Some guys take it too far, knowing their true feelings they marry the woman, have kids and then come out later, devastating everyone...
Posted by Katina 10/28/08 8:49 AM



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