Mon. Dec 22, 2008 | 12:59 PM

Tips on coping with five sources of single-mom stress.

singlemom.jpgRound of applause for the real superheroes out there: the single parents. When Solange Knowles came on the Tyra Show, she talked about the stresses of being a single parent. It's a task many parents can relate to. But with a few tricks of the super-mom's trade, you can catch a little break on some of the biggest stresses out there.

Financial Woes
With today's gas prices at head-spinning heights, a practical mom might cut back on some of the family's favorite treats. But before canceling the weekend trip to the "good" park -- the one that's twenty miles and half a tank of gas away but has the swirly slide the kids love -- consider cutting back in other areas, like using your microwave more than your kitchen range on weeknights. It's less expensive to run, with the added bonus of quickly cooking up healthy, frozen meals.

Multitasking 101
The single mom's mantra is clearly "two birds, one stone." Tasks like laundry and gardening are time consuming and take away from precious playtime. Try routing your washing machine to drain outside, watering your lawn or garden. This way both your family and yard come out fresh as a daisy and you've only spent time on one chore.

Single-Handedly Combating the Picky Eater
At the end of a long day, the wrath of a child who just will not eat his broccoli at the dinner table can be a little difficult to stomach. But as the fearless ruler of the roost, there is always a plan in your repertoire. Have your kids assist you in the kitchen. The pride they'll feel for helping create what's on their plate will surpass the squeamishness of trying new foods and dinner will be happily served.

Battling the Bad-Weather Blues
Summer is a piece of cake, what with camp and plenty of outdoor fun to occupy kiddos. But when winter break rolls around, activities are limited -- and the cooped-up meltdowns start to occur. Luckily, salvation comes to you in the form of the local library. Most offer reading or arts and crafts classes, not to mention the added bonus of borrowing books and movies rather than buying them. Gotta love free entertainment!

Dining-Out Dilemmas
It's always nice to hit the town and treat the wee ones, but who says it has to be a dinner date? Just opt to eat out at lunch rather than dinner. This way, dining only involves a few kid's meals and an inexpensive lunch deal for yourself. Plus, lunchtime is less crowded in many restaurants, so it won't be as overwhelming and you can make the most of your quality time by actually talking.


NEXT: The Necklace that Can Make You Look Thinner!
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Hi Tyra, I know your show is aimed toward younger girls and my daughters (19 and 16) watch you all the time. I appreciate what a good role model you are, and I'm trying to be one myself but as a single mom who never expected to be single (my ex turned out to be an alcoholic and it was better to be a single mom than married to someone like that) it can be so stressful that I actually wondered if I was going through early alzheimers (my mom,who was helping me) recently passed away after a two year bout with Alzheimer's). Having taken care of my mom alone with no help (my siblings swooped in when she died to get their share of what little there was) and two children I can't remember who I am from one day to the next. I have a great job (well,it pays well but it's extremely stressful) but horrible credit thanks to my ex. My car finally died and I have no spare money to get a new one and live in an area where having a car is vital. I feel like a failure, my girls are good girls but I don't feel like I'm setting the best example - I work at work, I work at home and I'm stressed all of the time, sore, tired (from walking miles to the bus just to get to and from work and from working 9-10 hours a day) and we're still not making it financially. Can you do another show about these issues. I'm in my early 40's, was married for 15 years, went to college and have my degree, did everything "the right way" and yet I'm still dead broke, renting a house I can't afford and constantly feeling like
Posted by Lisa 04/03/09 11:42 PM
 
HEY TYRA! IM JANELL.A 23 YEAR OLD SINGLE PARENT OF A CHILD WITH CEREBRAL PALSEY AND I WANT TO SAY THAT IT IS ROUGH. I HAD HIM AT 19. HE WAS BORN AT 24 WEEKS. DEALING WITH DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL AND BEING AT THE HOSPITAL EVERYDAY,GOING TO APPOINTMENTS,TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING AND COUNTING ON MY GRANDMOM TO REMEMBER FOR ME(CAUSE I 4GET)IT IS CRAZY. IM SO STRESSED OUT. LUCKILY MY GRANDMOTHER TOOK ON THE ROLE AS DADDY SINCE HIS FATHER IS NOT INVOLVED AT ALL ANYMORE.MY SON IS 4 AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING. I HAVE MANY THINGS THAT ARE WEARING ON ME.ITS TAKING CONTROL OF MY MEMORIES.ITS LIKE IM LOSING ME. MY LIFE IS COMPLICATED. I DONT EVEN THINK THATS THE WORD FOR IT.I'VE TRYED TO REACH OUT TO HIS FATHER,HIS MOTHER,HIS SISTER. IM HAVING NO LUCK WITH THAT. MAYBE HE DONT WANNA DEAL WITH A CHILD WITH CP. HE DOESNT WANNA DEAL WITH HIS OWN SON.I HATE HIM FOR THAT.ITS TO A POINT WHERE I FEEL LIKE IM NOTHING TO MY SON BECAUSE I AM A RECK. I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO..I THINK.
Posted by janell 03/20/09 9:46 AM
 
I ENJOYED YOUR SHOW ABOUT SINGLE MOTHERS. BEING A SINGLE MOTHER MYSELF AND KNOWING HOW MUCH OF A STRUGGLE IT CAN BE AT TIMES IT WAS GOOD TO SEE THAT I'M NOT ALONE, BUT I THINK SOLANGE KNOWLES WAS NOT THE BEST CHOICE ABOUT BEING A SINGLE AND A STRUGGLING MOTHER LIKE THE REST OF THEM WHO WERE ON THE SHOW.
Posted by IFE 02/14/09 7:46 AM
 
Hi, Tyra, I love your show and so do my two daughters, 16 and 10. I am a single mother about to turn 40. This was supposed to be my year, a brand new start. I was laid off from my job in October but signed with a staffing firm and was told I would start at a great company in a position I was truly excited about on Jan. 5th. I was released from the assignment on Jan. 7th and totally devastated. Now I am back to the grind again. I am having a hard time dealing with the stress because I have been working since I was twelve. I have alwyas been very independent and don't like to ask for assistance but now I feel like the stress is getting the best of me. Please write back!
Posted by Lanette 02/01/09 9:30 AM
 
on all your single parent episodes, its always the single mother looking after her children, with the deadbeat dad off with a second family or whatever. and that really bothers me. two years ago my mom told me she didnt want me, and she kicked me out, all i did was ask who she was on the phone with .. and throughout the 6 years my parents have been divorced, my mom has ALWAYS been on the phone, even when me and my brother were visiting her, and she would always care more about her friends than us, meaning shed ALWAYS break promises, lie, etc. and the first bf she had after the divorce, was a major pedofile, who would call and ask ME how many bfs ive had, what i did with them, etc. VERY creepy. and the second one was around after she kicked me out, and he would constantly fb creep me. not cool. and she ALWAYS tries to turn everyone, my friends, my dads friends, my brothers friends, etc, against me and my dad [she told her friends that the divorce happened because my dad was "abusive" and didnt approve of her going back to school, however, my dad is like THE nicest person anyone will EVER meet, and my mom failed college, TWICE, my dad actually supported her 100%, like serisouly? why wouldnt someone want their spouse to earn more money than they already do, that makes a better life for the both of them!]. my dad is my bestfriend and my mom is my worst enemy. i really think you need to make episodes on deadbeat mothers, i know youre really close to your mom but its just a fact, more and more dads are trying to be in theyre childrens lives and the
Posted by Caitlyn 01/27/09 7:51 AM
 
Hi Tyra! My mom was a single parent of 3 and now a single grandparent of 3! I don't have any children of my own, but I have been helping my mom raise my brothers! The oldest is now 8. We got her when she was a month old. My brother and her mom were both locked up at the same time. At the time my mom had to take her or she would have went to foster care. We just got the babies! They are 2 and 1yrs old! We got them when the state filed neglect charges against the mother. The 1yr old was born high on PCP(dust)! He is now a healthy baby! I thought 1 was hard! It's nothing compared to 3!! My brother was killed on Sept 12,2008 and my mom had a stroke the week before thanksgiving! She had 2 bloodclots on her brain! While she recovered in the hospital I got to experience what being a full time single parent was like! My mom did an article on grandparents raising there grandchildren in the Feb. edition of Ebony in 2007(Coretta Scott King on cover). She has worked for the school system for over 20yrs and has help many other women that were single parents! She has spoken on a national level on single parents and grandparents raising children/grandchildren. Every holiday for the past 10yrs she has helped parents/grandparents by collecting food and toys for those who could not afford it or were on fixed income! Even when my brother died she was thinking of other people! She donated his organs so another parent would have to feel the pain she was feeling! She is the perfect example of a single parent and grandparent!
Posted by Gloria 01/14/09 2:38 AM
 
hi im kira a single mum from somerset i love my son so much but his got a.d.h.d. and he is so hard to look after he hits me hurts me he beets up my brother who is aurtistic my son is 4 and my brother is 13 and my son beets him up there always fighting i cant take this my other brother is 18 his girlfriend lives withy us and she is pregnant she is 4 months gone but i was at work today and my son kickedc her in the stomach i need advice i cant cope no more please help me
Posted by kira 01/09/09 1:40 PM
 
Hi, Tyra. I first wanna say I love you and you are such a beautiful women. I am a single mother of two boys and Im doin my best to take care of them. I get no help or respect from the father, however he will take care of his daughter who is by another girl. I am 24 and feel I should be working a good job with benefits and have plenty of time to do things with my kids but I dont. Im living at hiome with my parents who are on the verge of losing there home. My father has lost his job right before Thanksgivving lieaving my mother the only one in the house bringing income in. A house payment has not been made in 4 months and are billings are piling up. It hurts me and stresses me out to see my mother going throught this and the fact that Im a grown woman with kids thats depending on my mother to make it day to day. Im trying my hard to find a job but it seems they are hard to come across. I really want to work on getting my credit in place because being young and foolish I did alot of things that effected my credit as well as the situation Im in now. I ma blessed and love my kids with all my heart and it hurts anytime we go to a store they want something or nowing they need clothes or shoes I cant get it. Of course my mother will help but she has enough on her plate and I need to handle my family the best I can as well as help her. I have done so much searching on the internet for grants and diffrent programs out
Posted by Sheena 01/08/09 10:44 AM
 
hi tyra, i am single mother of 2kids seven and two,i get no help from their dad, and i have a good job, but i still struggle and there are times when i just want to give up. I don't have family help at all the only thing that i have are two best friends helping me out. And they both have kids of their own, so i rarely see them. I haven't done anything for myself in a very long time. I'm trying to get my 2 year old daughter into modeling or in commericals, so that hard as well cuz it very expensive to get it started, so if you know any tips please let me know. I am by myself and haven;t gotten to do anything and i understand that being a single mom, but i cry alot exspecially at night when they are in bed. And they ask for their dad or toys that i can't afford. This holiday was exspecially hard for my kids, my son was very upset all he wanted was a wii or ds, and i couldnt afford it, not with bills and etc. He was upset and i didnt know how to explain, hopefully this year would be a better year. To all the single moms just put you head up and know one day you kids will thank you for the way you raise them. HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR.
Posted by teresa 01/04/09 4:44 PM
 
WHATS GOOD TYRA, ITS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I JUST HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT AND I DONT FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING IT RIGHT NOW BUT IF YOU REPLY BACK I WILL TELL !YOU! CUZ THERE IS SOME NOSY PEOPLE ON HERE FEEL ME...OK SO ABOUT THE SINGLE MOMMMY THANG. IM 14 AND NO IM NOT A MOM! LOL MY MOM IS AND SHE LOOOOVES ME SO MUCH BUT WE DONT GET ALONG AT ALL BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT SHE DOES! MY MOM DOES THE KINDA STUFF WHERE MEN CALL HER AND BE LIKE CAN WE MEET HERE??? THEN I FOUND CONDEMS IN HER PURSE AND I THINK WE BOTH KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.! SHE SAYS SHE HIDES NOTHING FROM ME BUT THAT IS SOMETHING YOU DEFINATELY WANT TO HIDE YOU KNOW. I WOULD LOVE TO BE A GUEST ON YOUR SHOW OR EVEN GET A EMAIL BACK! THIS IS KINDA OFF SUBJECT BUT MY DREAM IS TO BE A RAPPER SINGER MODEL AND ACTRESS BUT I FEEL LIKE IM GETTING HELD BACK...BECUASE OF THE JOB SHE DOES LIKE I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW YOU GET THAT JOB...GO TO MONSTER.COM AND TYPE IN HOE LOL! I DONT KNOW BUT PLEASE REPLY BACK! FOR REAL FOR REAL...I NEED YOUR HELP.! I HAVE A YOUTUBE VIDEO WITH A RAP I MADE SEARCH GUNNA MAKE IT BY PRINCESS MIMI THANKS FOR READING
Posted by MORIA 12/31/08 9:10 AM
 
hay tyra girl, i want to make a small comment, i am a single mother of 2 had 2 pairs a shoes for the last 3 years and i have to go through slot just to make ends meet and the fathers dint do anything at all,but a wise woman told me(my mother) im not the first and i wont be the last.
Posted by Krystin Moore 12/30/08 11:35 PM
 
hey all you single mamas and papas. i know it is tough out there- hard enough sometimes to take care of yourself. i am a single mama of a gorgeous two year old and am grateful for all the other parents out there who are loving their babies, helping them grow strong and true. we just experienced an enormous upheaval because our landlord's house burnt to the ground and i thought i saved him but he died the next day. i've kind of being falling apart but my babe has been hugging and kissing me when i cry and i know it's going to be hard to find something like that (i had free rent, just had to take care of him and the land) but it's going to be okay. tyra, you are so special and shiny. i think of you with real love and would love it if you'd be my baby's adopted aunt. if you're looking for any help with any of your houses, i'm a really talented organic gardener, and good with lots of other things too. love you all!
Posted by wren 12/30/08 7:41 PM
 
hey tyra this is chandler again and i think my mother wants to help me and stuff but she cant because of money problems.........what can i do?
Posted by chandl. 12/29/08 3:17 PM
 
Hey Tyra, I jus got fired for the second time in less than 3 mos. I'm tryin so hard not to break down right now cuz I have a 16 month old daughter to suppot and I can't even keep a job.
Posted by Dyani 12/29/08 9:04 AM
 
Hey tyra my name in precious i live in new york city in the bronx im 18 years old and the oldest of three. my mom is a single mother very hard working she can never get a chance to be with the family. when she gets home from a long day of work she cant help but get in the bed and go stright to sleep and do the samething the next day. i love my mom and wish that you can help her
Posted by Anonymous 12/26/08 3:43 PM



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