sexinschools2.jpgIt's no secret: Kids are having sex younger and younger, and they're not just doing it in the backseat of dad's car. They're doing it in school. In fact, more and more teens are going behind the school stage, under the bleachers and into abandoned classrooms to do more than hold hands. Dr. Gary offers these tips to better understanding (and handling) teen sexuality.


1. Acknowledge your adolescent or teenage child is becoming a sexual being -- just like you did.


2. Realize children are becoming sexualized earlier and earlier. With the advent of the Internet, we are raising the first generation of children who are just one mouse click away from x-rated websites and other adult material. Combine that with a media that saturates kids with lots of sex and sexual imagery, and you've got a recipe for kids who are sexualized by the time they're 9 or 10 years old.


3. Raging hormones are VERY hard to combat. Give your children an outlet to burn off the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of them. Sign them up for activities like dance class or sports to help them redirect their energy.


4. Have open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with your child about sex. Sometimes parents have selective memories about their own "growing up" experiences and sexual experimentation. So let children know that you've had the same feelings they're feeling, and it's okay.


5. And if your child does have sex? Hold them closer to you. Talk to them with forgiveness and without judgment.

You tell us: What's the best way to talk to kids about sex?



NEXT: Would You Date a Guy Who Lives at Home?


 
I am 42 years old and let me tell you sex today is no different then it was for me at 15,16 etc. I was also the girl looking for love and in all the wrong places. Now that I am in my 40's I think back about alot of the decisions I made when I thought I knew everything and I can honestly say I wish life WAS a dress rehearsal and that we could have a practice run. But it is not and we can't so girls try to get it right the first time around. Be true to yourselves and realize that you are special and you will be glad you made the right choices in the long run.
 
HEY IM 14 AND I LOST "IT" AT 13 WHEN I DID TELL MY MOM SHE PUNISHED ME AND JUMPED ON ME AND NOW SHE DONT TRUST ME AND I THINK THATS WHY ALOT OF KIDS KEEP SEX ON DA LOW SOOOO FOR ALL MOMS WHO ARE READING THIS I THINK YOU JUST NEED TELL YOUR KIDS TO BE SAFE AND GET OVER IT BECAUSE YOU CAINT CHANGE WHATS ALREADY DONE SORRY
 
Im a 21 year old virgin. and when I say virgin im mean at everything, never been kissed on a date or anything. And when I tell guy's they have a hard time believing me, Im starting to think thats its not even worth keeping my virginity...
 
Tyra, i really think you should address this issue on the show!!! HARD! I'm 22 now, and--just like most of the comments--this is when teen sex starts really hitting you the most. When you're young you think it's "the thing to do" and "if i don't he won't love me anymore" and "I know that i'm ready to." Honestly, the thing to do is turning it down, and if a girl says no, she should realize that it's only love if he sticks around and accepts that "no to sex." I was that girl! All of us were! I had sex and didn't even realize i was having sex! So then once you start, it takes you over and you think that you can't turn back. I wish more girls could realize that they DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX! And that if they do, they can still be loved--and more importantly they can still love themselves. My fiance and i have both had sex before, even with each other. But we now have both vowed not to have sex until marriage. It's hard for both of us, but it's so free-ing! It lifted up the burden of hurt over so many times with many partners! And i can only wish the same uplifting for so many others! Love your show, you, and what you stand for! --Katie
 
Hey Tyra, Wats Up..I am 14 Going On 15 and I Currently Have no parents...so theitr is really nobody to talk to me about sex...i do not know wat love is to open up my legs to every boy that says i love u...i am not stupid...girls these days will do anything to keep a boy...boys arew boys trust me i know...and well i would always plan to do things but once i actually sit down and think about it ialways make the right decision and im planning on keeping my virginity until i am 16 or 17...im not gonna hold back my whole life...and their are soem other things i need advice on...but i dont wanna spread it over the internet,,,,their is a lot of people put their if u know wat i mean Love Shan'ze Ps I would LOVE to be on your show
 
Hi Tyra, My name is Taylor and I'm 18 years old. I always wanted to wait until I was married before I would have sex but unfortunately things dont always work out. About 3 months before my 17th birthday I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 3 months. I really did love him and I thought he loved me too. So having sex with him was something that I thought I was ready for. We used protection that first time and it went better than I thought it would. After that day we had sex every chance we got, unprotected. I wasn't concerned with getting pregnant or STDs, I just couldn't stop. So after being together for 8 months I found out that he was cheating on me. After that we broke up and a few months later I found out that I was pregnant. I was so scared and cried all the time because I felt so alone. I wanted an abortion but I was not old enough to have it done without my mother. Telling my mom that I was pregnant was the hardest thing ever! After she found out we cried together and she never once judged me for my mistake. I also had the support of my bestfriends and I made it through my senior year of highschool. I am now currently attending college and I'm majoring in pre-med. I have a beautiful 7 week old daughter and I love her so much. As far as her father, he wants to be in her life. And our relationship isn't the best right now and i dont know if we will have a future together as a family or not. Although I am happy with my life right now, at 18, young women should not be
 
WELL I'M 15 AND IM A PROUD MOM AND I THINK CHILDREN SHOULD WAIT I WISH I WOULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL I GOT MARRIED I WAS 13 WHEN I LOST MY V-CARD AND 14 WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS HAVING A BABY BUT I PROUD TO SAY I'M A TEEN MOTHER DOING IT ON MY OWN AND I'M PROUD TO SAY MY BABY GIRL WAS BORN JULY 22,2008 AT 7:24PM AND I LOVE HER TO DEATH
 
Tyra, i really think you should address this issue on the show!!! HARD! I'm 22 now, and--just like most of the comments--this is when teen sex starts really hitting you the most. When you're young you think it's "the thing to do" and "if i don't he won't love me anymore" and "I know that i'm ready to." Honestly, the thing to do is turning it down, and if a girl says no, she should realize that it's only love if he sticks around and accepts that "no to sex." I was that girl! All of us were! I had sex and didn't even realize i was having sex! So then once you start, it takes you over and you think that you can't turn back. I wish more girls could realize that they DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX! And that if they do, they can still be loved--and more importantly they can still love themselves. My fiance and i have both had sex before, even with each other. But we now have both vowed not to have sex until marriage. It's hard for both of us, but it's so free-ing! It lifted up the burden of hurt over so many times with many partners! And i can only wish the same uplifting for so many others! Love your show, you, and what you stand for! --Katie
 
Hey Tyra, Im 20 years old so not really a teen anymore but this subject hits me hard basiclly because i have alot of little cousins who are like my sister and it scares me to think they could be havin sex, their just too young. i personaly dont think you can put an age on sex but thier is a certain maturetee level for sex, i lost my v-card at the age of 14 he was my first love (so i though) we dated for 10 months before it actually happened, back then i didnt regret it but now that im an adult and in a serious relationship i regret not waitin for my love and now father of my child to be. when i had sex for the first time it wasn't what i expected it to be, it wasn't at all what you see on tv we were both virgins and had the slighties ideal what we were doin. i remember my mom always be their to give me "the talk" i heard it from my mom and dad i knew all about protection and std's so i felt like i was ready. I dont regret havin sex cause i seriously think i was ready but i do wish i would have waited for love. I remember my mom tellin me that sex is so much better when it is with the person you love and i agree with that 100% i wish back when i was a child i understud what she meant like i do now.
 
i lost my v-card at the age of 12. i only have sex because i think it will only make happy and i konw I'm making him happy
 
I lost my virginity at 13...and it was my choice. My mom did not judge me when I told her...and she didn't jump down my throat. As much as being a parent may push you to be hard on your kids, sometimes they are hard enough on themselves. Love your kids through their mistakes...and later on in life you will still have a good relationship with them. Approach kids the way you would have wanted to be approached when you were younger. It's really not that complicated.
 
hello tyra i love your prsonality and your shows you talk about so many topics that are very important you engage not only the youner audience but also the middle and the older your show proves that things are diffrent from when our parents were children yes the same things mightbe gong on but its at a diffrent level nowadays things are not hidden in our society anymore if a child wanted to be innocent or naive they couldnt because everything is on tv not just cabel but basic tv too and beleive it or not kids can get ideas from the tv things like ooh i wanna be like that could b going through their head and all it takes is a thought and once a thought becomes a desire its not long before it becomes reality young girls and young boys has to have a strong foundation to make it through the middle and high school years with out giving into pressure it is the respnsibility of the parents to create a strong foundation and tell their kids realistic stuff not just wait till marriage b/c those feelings often time come way before then they need to tell them to have a self value and know what you are worth and who you are worth and know that if anyone every pressures you then they arent worth your time............. i lost my virginty when i was 17 the guy was 20 he was very respectfl and was a good choice because 3 years later im still with him and we are still going srong im very thankful that i had a strong foundation thanks mama and thanks tyra for your time i love much ~neysha~
 
Tyra, i do believe that it is very irresponsible for kids to be having sex. I know that kids are doing it at an earlier age. I am 18 years old and lost my virginity when i was 16 almost 17. people say its because their parents dont talk to them and they dont have a close relationship with them. i dont believe that at all. overall, kids are going to do what they want, when they want. yes, if their parents talk to them they will have a more understanding of what COULD happen- such as stds or pregnancy. but, we've all been through that whole sex-ed stage. we know what the consequences are. i believe its just part of life, its going to happen no matter what. also, it does have a lot to do with pressure- especially in high school. no one wants to be that "40 year old virgin" so they have sex to get that thought out of their mind. they dont want to be teased for being the "only virgin" left. i know from experience, one of my very close guy friends just went away to college to live in the dorms. and before he left he was upset, i asked why,and he said "im going to college a virgin how messed up is that." no matter what, its in the back of every persons mind. old or young. its just about morals i'd say, and what you want for yourself.
 
i am a 20 year old married woman, and i started having sex at 13, i think i wanted attention but i dont regret it i wouldnt be the person i am now if that wouldnt have happened in my life, and through out my life time i only had 6 sex partners im not proud of it but i dont regret it either..i think it has alot to do with parents and how strong a person is mentally...my opinion
 
if u like haviing sexxy time might AS well



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