sexinschools2.jpgIt's no secret: Kids are having sex younger and younger, and they're not just doing it in the backseat of dad's car. They're doing it in school. In fact, more and more teens are going behind the school stage, under the bleachers and into abandoned classrooms to do more than hold hands. Dr. Gary offers these tips to better understanding (and handling) teen sexuality.


1. Acknowledge your adolescent or teenage child is becoming a sexual being -- just like you did.


2. Realize children are becoming sexualized earlier and earlier. With the advent of the Internet, we are raising the first generation of children who are just one mouse click away from x-rated websites and other adult material. Combine that with a media that saturates kids with lots of sex and sexual imagery, and you've got a recipe for kids who are sexualized by the time they're 9 or 10 years old.


3. Raging hormones are VERY hard to combat. Give your children an outlet to burn off the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of them. Sign them up for activities like dance class or sports to help them redirect their energy.


4. Have open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with your child about sex. Sometimes parents have selective memories about their own "growing up" experiences and sexual experimentation. So let children know that you've had the same feelings they're feeling, and it's okay.


5. And if your child does have sex? Hold them closer to you. Talk to them with forgiveness and without judgment.

You tell us: What's the best way to talk to kids about sex?



NEXT: Would You Date a Guy Who Lives at Home?


 
My name is Shavasciette Hannah im 14 peer presure is something. Im a virgin i have friends that is having sex and try to influence me to have sex when i tell them im not ready they say im scary, a chicken and other crazy things. I think if i wait into im ready it will be better inplus i have crazy parents and i wouldnt want them to find out because they wouldnt trust me anymore or let me have freedom most kids that are having sex parents have gave up on them i dont want my parents to give up on me and plus im spoiled and i dont want to lose the things i earned i think all kids should wait into they are ready and dnt let there friends talk them into it!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Hi Tyra! I watch your show when I can and I am a big fan. I spent the better part of my teenager years de-virginated and I must say I regret it. I did it for ALL the wrong reasons, with the wrong person at the wrong place-- it was just wrong all the way around. I was fifteen and very stupid as well as needing to fit in. Here's the irony...the people that were more like me-- were still holding on to theirs. Not only did I lose it at such a young age, it totally ruined my subsequent relationships with men. Up until recently, I was using sex as the basis and reason of a relationship-- "Because we have sex, he is my boyfriend." And then I realized that mode of thinking made me the "jump off" while the guy had a steady. I wish I had waited. But in that, I realized to be more honest with myself when it comes to sex and that it is okay not to.
 
Hey Tyra, I am 16 almost 17yrs old, and i lost my virginity 3 weeks after my fourteenth birthday. It was with a guy in grade 12, i was drunk(i was in 9th), Till this very day i regret it. I lost a part of me that day, and also the respect of my parents. For all the young girls out there, i know your hormones are rageing, and i know that you think you "love" that boy. But in reality,you have your whole life ahead of you, why not take your time and wait. If he really loves you, it wont matter to him how long you wait.
 
Tyra, my name is mallorie. I am a 22-year-old single mother of 3. Their ages are 1, 2, and 5. I would like to tell these girls that are out having sex for fun, that fun is over when you end up a young mother with alll of the responsibility that motherhood brings. I am in college about to graduate in 6 months and I am living proof that if you do end up with kids young please do something with your life. Do not end up one of those mothers dependant on some abusive guy and powerless to stand up for themselves. It is important to stand strong and say no to the "cool" guys that influence you into sex.I am very happy with my children, although, I missed out on what being a teenager is really about. Which is not having sex.
 
Tyra, my name is mallorie. I am a 22-year-old single mother of 3. Their ages are 1, 2, and 5. I would like to tell these girls that are out having sex for fun, that fun is over when you end up a young mother with alll of the responsibility that motherhood brings. I am in college about to graduate in 6 months and I am living proof that if you do end up with kids young please do something with your life. Do not end up one of those mothers dependant on some abusive guy and powerless to stand up for themselves. It is important to stand strong and say no to the "cool" guys that influence you into sex.I am very happy with my children, although, I missed out on what being a teenager is really about. Which is not having sex.
 
im 14 and i'v never had sex before.my dad is a pastor at a church, and he always told me that the bible says your supposed to wait to have sex until your married.and i think hes right.i don't live with my dad and i don't agree with half the things he thinks.i know me and my friends talk about it but we are scared to have sex because our moms have told us oh it hurts and you'll bleed.me and my mom are very open to each other shes asked me if i want to know what sex is like and if most of the girls in my school are having sex.and when pple tlk about them having sex and doing sexual stuff.Girls now days just want to have sex to know what its like not to be special or because their in love they want to just to know what its like and their not thinking about all the risks of having sexual intercourse.and if they do they should use protection. and theirs this girl who says she would rather be raped so that shes already "popped" so that her mom doesn't find out.but personaly i was raped when i was 11 and it wasn't the greatest time in my life it was terrifing to know someone had taken advantage of me.and held me down and threatend me,and you might think those things won't happen to you but they can.and it happends so fast that you don't know how to react to it. same way as if you have sex your going to regreat it after you do it.
 
Hello Tyra. This is my second time commenting on these wonderful and interesting stories. I am 16 and am currently a junior in high school. I feel that the pressure is 0N and poppin' when teens have the sex with adults whether it be a parent or not. Teens get discouraged to talk to their parents about the situation because of what they "think" they will say...because yes,sometimes parents can be very judemental as if they have never "done it". I am a virgin, however, i think it is extremely hard to stay that way with how society views you these days. Its like being a virgin is a bad thing when really it isn't...its a sign of purity and self control. xoxo..Alyssa Rose..[i hope to see you when i enter top model. lol]
 
im 14 years old and these days guys are only in to you if you have sex things to offer them. i feel lke the majority of the girls are getting pressured, because they want the guy to love them for many reasons, and if they think they loose their virginity to them then it will keep the guy happy and intrested. I have not been one to be pressured but sometimes my boyfriend will bring up the sex subject and i dont know what to say or do, hes not a virgin and i feel like, hes expecting something from me.My point is how do i know if he loves me or if he just wants sex?? Im proud im a virgin but when do i know when the time is right, ive always wanted to be a virgin till my wedding day, and i know that i never want to be pressured.
 
I am so shocked to hear all of these things that kids are doing these days. My mom always told me and I will tell me kids someday that if you are not mature enough to talk about the issue, then you are definitely not mature enough to do it! With all the possible consequences such as STD's, pregnancy, not to mention all the physical and emotional changes you go through. If you cannot have a mature adult conversation with your parents about contraception, positions, lubrication, pregnancy, then definitely wait until you can because those decisions will effect your life in ways that you couldn't even imagine.
 
I'm 17 years old and I had sex for the first time with my actual boyfriend 6 weeks after we got together. I told my mom that it has already happened and she got really mad and all crazy about it, when we had both talked about it and we knew it was going to happen soon. The day I told her she started yelling at me and talked to my boyfriend and his mom about how disrespectful we were. Where we actually that wrong??? I did it because I wanted to and because I love him, he didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do. Do you think I was wrong? Is my mom wrong???
 
I'm 15, and I am a virgin. I think that the children who are having sex that young should be very ashamed of themselves. I'm not thknin about having sex with anybody at this age. I am going to wait til I am out of high school, and grown. People like that are just trying to be grown and they dont even know what they are doing. There are so many pregnant girls in my school. I am in the tenth grade and I have classes with these girls. They sit in class talking about baby names and their "ex" boyfriends, like nothing is wrong with what they did. Boys just want one thing and when they get it they will leave.
 
Hi Tyra...I like really really love your show. You are so funny and real. I remember when i was younger like 6 or 7 i had lifesize on vhs i watched it at least twice a day. Well anyway i am 15 and I lost my virginity about two years ago in the backseat of my cousins car in front of a gas station. I really regret doing it so young and i wished i waited to i was married. I'm only 15 and did almost everything in the book. I really don't see what the big deal about sex is but i just can't stop having it. I also did it with my bestfriend who i knew since 2nd grade and now we don't even talk anymore it's very ackward when he is around. Well my parents don't know and i'm glad if they did i'd be dead. It's nothing to do now but just forgive and forget myself for doing it so young.
 
Hi Tyra...I like really really love your show. You are so funny and real. I remember when i was younger like 6 or 7 i had lifesize on vhs i watched it at least twice a day. Well anyway i am 15 and I lost my virginity about two years ago in the backseat of my cousins car in front of a gas station. I really regret doing it so young and i wished i waited to i was married. I'm only 15 and did almost everything in the book. I really don't see what the big deal about sex is but i just can't stop having it. I also did it with my bestfriend who i knew since 2nd grade and now we don't even talk anymore it's very ackward when he is around. Well my parents don't know and i'm glad if they did i'd be dead. It's nothing to do now but just forgive and forget myself for doing it so young.
 
Hey Tyra I think your so cool and I love your show. The way you are so real on stage and are not afraid to get up and do something stupid is what really makes the show great. It makes it alot eaiser to talk about something serious when you can laugh and be relaxed and that is exactly what you do. I am 18 and have never had sex before and I have never even thought about it when I was young. Its so hard to beileve when I read how young some people are but I have to understand that that is how things are nowa days. When I was 13 all I could think of was to play and have a good time, yeah I thought about boys and the stupid stuff like kissing but never going any further. I think I was more afraid so I didnt even think about it. I think its eaiser for me to say no to guys because I am a very blunt person and will just blurt out I never had and never will and just plain say no but thank you for the offer. I really hope that you can address this to younger kids. Maybe on a show you can bring on kids that had never had sex before and range them from 10 and up and just talk to them about it, you should bring on teens that have had sex and let the younger ones ask questions and let the older ones talk to them. I know that when I was younger I really liked talking to older girls so maybe you could do this. I think that it would be a really great way to address to the younger ones.
 
Hey Tyra I think your so cool and I love your show. The way you are so real on stage and are not afraid to get up and do something stupid is what really makes the show great. It makes it alot eaiser to talk about something serious when you can laugh and be relaxed and that is exactly what you do. I am 18 and have never had sex before and I have never even thought about it when I was young. Its so hard to beileve when I read how young some people are but I have to understand that that is how things are nowa days. When I was 13 all I could think of was to play and have a good time, yeah I thought about boys and the stupid stuff like kissing but never going any further. I think I was more afraid so I didnt even think about it. I think its eaiser for me to say no to guys because I am a very blunt person and will just blurt out I never had and never will and just plain say no but thank you for the offer. I really hope that you can address this to younger kids. Maybe on a show you can bring on kids that had never had sex before and range them from 10 and up and just talk to them about it, you should bring on teens that have had sex and let the younger ones ask questions and let the older ones talk to them. I know that when I was younger I really liked talking to older girls so maybe you could do this. I think that it would be a really great way to address to the younger ones.



 (this will not appear)

(you may use HTML tags for style)

Back to Top »