sexinschools2.jpgIt's no secret: Kids are having sex younger and younger, and they're not just doing it in the backseat of dad's car. They're doing it in school. In fact, more and more teens are going behind the school stage, under the bleachers and into abandoned classrooms to do more than hold hands. Dr. Gary offers these tips to better understanding (and handling) teen sexuality.


1. Acknowledge your adolescent or teenage child is becoming a sexual being -- just like you did.


2. Realize children are becoming sexualized earlier and earlier. With the advent of the Internet, we are raising the first generation of children who are just one mouse click away from x-rated websites and other adult material. Combine that with a media that saturates kids with lots of sex and sexual imagery, and you've got a recipe for kids who are sexualized by the time they're 9 or 10 years old.


3. Raging hormones are VERY hard to combat. Give your children an outlet to burn off the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of them. Sign them up for activities like dance class or sports to help them redirect their energy.


4. Have open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with your child about sex. Sometimes parents have selective memories about their own "growing up" experiences and sexual experimentation. So let children know that you've had the same feelings they're feeling, and it's okay.


5. And if your child does have sex? Hold them closer to you. Talk to them with forgiveness and without judgment.

You tell us: What's the best way to talk to kids about sex?



NEXT: Would You Date a Guy Who Lives at Home?


 
Hey Tyra , i am 16 years old . and i have had sex when i was 15, and i admit : IT IS A HUGE MISTAKE ! sex is not what its cranked up to be, trust me . so i wouldnt recommend it to anyone my age. so far, only my older sister and friends know about it. i plan on telling my mom after my first child (LOL , seriously!) but with all honesty, sex is not what its all hyped to be, so little girls, please wait !
 
Hey Tyra , i am 16 years old . and i have had sex when i was 15, and i admit : IT IS A HUGE MISTAKE ! sex is not what its cranked up to be, trust me . so i wouldnt recommend it to anyone my age. so far, only my older sister and friends know about it. i plan on telling my mom after my first child (LOL , seriously!) but with all honesty, sex is not what its all hyped to be, so little girls, please wait !
 
Hey Tyra , i am 16 years old . and i have had sex when i was 15, and i admit : IT IS A HUGE MISTAKE ! sex is not what its cranked up to be, trust me . so i wouldnt recommend it to anyone my age. so far, only my older sister and friends know about it. i plan on telling my mom after my first child (LOL , seriously!) but with all honesty, sex is not what its all hyped to be, so little girls, please wait !
 
Hey Tyra, I believe you shouldn't jugde people on if they have sex young. If a person becomes pregnant when they are young, I say blame the parents. I'm sixteen, I have a boyfriend of almost three and a half years and we have a wonderful relationship. I'm sexually active, and my mom knows. I'm a good student and I'm graduating early. I've been called emotionally too mature for my own good. So before anyone judges teens on having sex young, get to know them. When I was about eleven, I remember my mom telling me,"Whenever you get a boyfriend, don't let him make you do things you don't want to do." Then when I got a boyfriend, she told me,"When you feel like you want to have sex, tell me and we'll get you on the pill." When you put retrictions on you kids, they're going to rebel even more. I thought my mom's way of approaching it was great. I told her I wanted to have sex, she told me,"Well, you know I would prefer you wait, but I can't stop you from doing things you want to do." If teenagers would be smart about it, there wouldn't be teen pregnancies or teens with diseases. Boys, USE A CONDOM. Girls, GET BIRTH CONTROL. It's not rocket science. Be smart about it. And parents.. talk to your children and DON'T BE IGNORANT.
 
Hey Tyra, I believe you shouldn't jugde people on if they have sex young. If a person becomes pregnant when they are young, I say blame the parents. I'm sixteen, I have a boyfriend of almost three and a half years and we have a wonderful relationship. I'm sexually active, and my mom knows. I'm a good student and I'm graduating early. I've been called emotionally too mature for my own good. So before anyone judges teens on having sex young, get to know them. When I was about eleven, I remember my mom telling me,"Whenever you get a boyfriend, don't let him make you do things you don't want to do." Then when I got a boyfriend, she told me,"When you feel like you want to have sex, tell me and we'll get you on the pill." When you put retrictions on you kids, they're going to rebel even more. I thought my mom's way of approaching it was great. I told her I wanted to have sex, she told me,"Well, you know I would prefer you wait, but I can't stop you from doing things you want to do." If teenagers would be smart about it, there wouldn't be teen pregnancies or teens with diseases. Boys, USE A CONDOM. Girls, GET BIRTH CONTROL. It's not rocket science. Be smart about it. And parents.. talk to your children and DON'T BE IGNORANT.
 
Hi Tyra, I am watching your show on teen pregnancy, my best friend had a baby in high school and my husband had a baby in high school too, he was 17 and the mom was 15. I think that it is amazing that teens these days don't see the importance of a condom. Many of my cousins think that condoms are bad and they lose the spark of sex, also they think that if they have anal or oral sex then both girls and boys remain a virgin!!! This boggles my mind. My husbands daughter is now 7, and I have taken it upon myself to make sure that I am honest with her about sex and I have even started saying that to not die from boy coodies she needs to make sure when shes older to be safe. I personally losts my virginity at 14 and I know that it was way to young even while I was in the middle of sex. I think that parents need to make sure that they have the convo with their kids and build up the selfesteem that they need so that they are not looking else where. I just cannot believe how much these children do not know or care about. When I was having sex as a teen I ALWAYS had a condom because the thought of having to say that I had an STD or pregnant TERRIFIED me.
 
Hey Tyra, I definitely think that it is the parent's responisibility to educate their children about sex and how to use contraceptives. However, many children aren't getting this education from their parents. Because of this, I strongly believe that it then becomes the school's responsibility to take over the education that parents all over North America are failing to give to their children. Many people still feel that a Sexual Education doesn't belong in school systems, but these people don't have to worry about their children going out and having unprotected sex because they've talked about sex with their children before. Its the kids that aren't getting "the talk" from their parents that are desparately in need of an inclusive Sexual Education. I didn't have one when I was in highschool and my highschool had a daycare that was for the students with babies! This daycare was always in use. I just graduated in June, 2008 so this is very recent. When some friends and I approached the school board about this, we were shut down. I don't think society is doing everything it can to prevent teen pregnancies and to educate children about having sex.
 
Hey Tyra, I definitely think that it is the parent's responisibility to educate their children about sex and how to use contraceptives. However, many children aren't getting this education from their parents. Because of this, I strongly believe that it then becomes the school's responsibility to take over the education that parents all over North America are failing to give to their children. Many people still feel that a Sexual Education doesn't belong in school systems, but these people don't have to worry about their children going out and having unprotected sex because they've talked about sex with their children before. Its the kids that aren't getting "the talk" from their parents that are desparately in need of an inclusive Sexual Education. I didn't have one when I was in high school and my school had a daycare that was for the students with babies! This daycare was always in use. I just graduated in June, 2008 so this is very recent. When some friends and I approached the school board about this, we were shut down. I don't think society is doing everything it can to prevent teen pregnancies and to educate children about having sex.
 
Trya I have worked as an adolescent pregnancy prevention personnel for years..it seems that these kids just do not get it. I wathced your show this a.m. and totally agree with everything I saw and heard there. Parents have to get tougher in order to stop this epedimic. Talking, making kids responsible for their actions and educate them that FAMILY PLANNING IS FREE AND BIRTH CONTROLL OF ALL TYPES IS FREE TO THEM FOR THE ASKING at all U.S. Department of Health..there is NO reson for unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancies in this day and time. Schools can only do so much. Parents still rule this atmosphere. take care of yourself no one including that young man wants to take on your responsibility of a child.
 
pple judge but remember if you kno he dont like you close the legs ladiess!!,it you need to be on your back that bad us a condom but evan if you do that...oops it bused.!!, you should have not done that!! its your choice (personal experince)....13 years of age and already in a reputation christ
 
hey tyra! Im 22 and a mother of a beautiful 2 year old little girl and im now expecting my second. I think that it is the parents responsibility to talk to their children about these types of issues and i think its sad that in a society where teens are looked on so badly for having sex young, we still have parents too scared or not making time to talk to their children. Props to you for picking up where these parents left off!!!!! go tyra!!
 
Hey tyra Well ive been sexually active (sex).... but the thing is i dont know how i would tell my mom. She talks about it sometimes with my sister and I. But when shes asking me, i would say " no!, im smarter than that or id be like ewwww"..... so i dont when ill have the ovaries to say it.
 
deat Tyra, as I am reading this article and the comments below, I also have to agree with the persons comment underneath me! It is very hard to talk to your parents about sex. My mommy is a very open, down to earth individual that doesnt take no "B.S" she was straight forward with me in saying:"if you are having sex, just let me know so that we can put you on to the pill","I dont need anymore headacfhes as it is". Now Tyra I cant blame her for saying something like this since she is a single parent raising a teenage daughter on her own. But in todays society its like us (as in teens) are being looked down on. It is like theres always something negative to say about our generation,than to say positive. Now me personally I live in the "hood" I live in hartford Connnecticut, were you see alot of PRE-TEENS (ages from 11-13) pregnate and even some on there second and third child. Now me as a person I am NOT sexually active, I feel as thought that I simply just dont have time for these little "sperm donars" that isnt good for nothing but wisperein a little something good in your ear, and then feeling you ip with "the wet and sticky stuff". But the purpose behind me writing this comment is to say that not all teens are CRAZY SEXUALLY ACTIVE, that there are still some good teens that so the right thing, but we still get pulled down with the "peer-pressure" and the weight of our community.
 
deat Tyra, as I am reading this article and the comments below, I also have to agree with the persons comment underneath me! It is very hard to talk to your pparents about sex. My mommy is a very open, down to earth individual that doesnt take no "B.S" she was straight forward with me in saying: "if you are having sex, just let me know so that we can put you on to the pill" "I dont need anymore headacfhes as it is". Now Tyra I cant blame her for saying something like this since she is a single parent raising a teenage daughter on her own. But in todays society its like us (as ein teens) are being looked down on. It is like theres always something negative to say about our generation, than to say positive. Now me personally I live in the "hood" I live in hartford Connnecticut, were you see alot of PRE-TEENS (ages from 11-13) pregnate and even some on there second and third child. Now me as a person I am NOT sexually active, I feel as thought that I simply just dont have time for these little "sperm donars" that isnt good for nothing but wisperein a little something good in your ear, and then feeling you ip with "the wet and sticky stuff". But the purpose behind me writing this comment is to say that not all teens ar4e CRAZY SEXUALLY ACTIVE, that there are still some good teens that so the4 right thing, but we still get pulled down with the "peer-pressure" and the weight of our community.
 
Hello Tyra, I think it is very hard for teens to talk to there parents about sex.Im 14 and I have a hard time telling my parent that I have a boyfriend.The reason why; because I see the way she reacts when i make a comment about a guy.Or even when i look at one. It's almost as if she makes me feel uncomfortable to even speak of the word.We've had conversations before but little comments like, "you shouldn't even be thinking about that now" or "back when I was little we didnt even think about sex; let alone a boy."Thats what makes us teens want to ask around.Most likely we ask our friends, which most of the time they are clueless just like we are. When I was over seeing the other comments many other teens said ther friends are influencing them to have sex, which is true exspecially in my case. I've been with the same guy for a 1 year but we've known each other since we were six, we grew up in a church together and everything. We say were in "love" Which may be true,it also causes my friends and I to think its been so long it should be okay.But I understand the outcomes of having sex like bleeding and diseases.I know I hear the same thing form many people such as "if you love each other you would wait." Which I think is true and also false. Because guys have diff. hormones than females. Theres are more sexual than emotional like ours would be.So the point im making is that most guys are only going to wait for so long at this age bcause there hormones are stronger than a females would be. I think you can be in love but he may



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