sexinschools2.jpgIt's no secret: Kids are having sex younger and younger, and they're not just doing it in the backseat of dad's car. They're doing it in school. In fact, more and more teens are going behind the school stage, under the bleachers and into abandoned classrooms to do more than hold hands. Dr. Gary offers these tips to better understanding (and handling) teen sexuality.


1. Acknowledge your adolescent or teenage child is becoming a sexual being -- just like you did.


2. Realize children are becoming sexualized earlier and earlier. With the advent of the Internet, we are raising the first generation of children who are just one mouse click away from x-rated websites and other adult material. Combine that with a media that saturates kids with lots of sex and sexual imagery, and you've got a recipe for kids who are sexualized by the time they're 9 or 10 years old.


3. Raging hormones are VERY hard to combat. Give your children an outlet to burn off the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of them. Sign them up for activities like dance class or sports to help them redirect their energy.


4. Have open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with your child about sex. Sometimes parents have selective memories about their own "growing up" experiences and sexual experimentation. So let children know that you've had the same feelings they're feeling, and it's okay.


5. And if your child does have sex? Hold them closer to you. Talk to them with forgiveness and without judgment.

You tell us: What's the best way to talk to kids about sex?



NEXT: Would You Date a Guy Who Lives at Home?


 
hey tyra well ummm... i just turned 14 yesterday and i am sexually activ since i was at least 11 and i can say that proudly to n-e-1 except for mii mother and father i dont want to disappoint them but i wanna be honest and lately ive really been juss wanting to jump this dudes bones on the stage at school. we're feelin each other real good to and hes been givin me soooooooo many chances 2 but idk what to do plaese help me?
 
Looking back on my teen years, and reading this article, it does happen, even 8-11 years ago. I do remember myself being physical with a guy friend while musical practice was going on. We went around to where the doors to come into the auditorium, and where it was dark, so no one would see us and made out and felt each other up. That was my only experience with this, and I didn't have sex there at school (I started having sex at 17, but it was either at home, his home, or when I was dating a college guy, his dorm). But I wouldn't doubt that sex actually occured there at school, especially within the music department building (many dark areas, and the basement teens could get into). It's sad tho, that teens would resort to this and even risk their reputation/get into a lot of trouble if caught to just have sex. Teens are going to have sex tho, but just don't do it at school, there are other places you can have it, lol, trust me. We just have to as a society and as we start to have children ourselves is do what this post gives us advice on, and listen to our children. Let them know that you hope they would wait until they are older and actually in love, but don't tell them they can't have sex (they are just going to have it anyway), and get them the protection they need (ie birth control and condoms), so that way they are protected if they do decide to have sex.
 
Personally I think that sex before marriage is a horrible idea, I can't really say I waited because I didn't. I think that teens having sex at ages 13 to 17 really is a bad idea. I'm 18 years old now and I wish I would've waited until I got married to have sex. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and I regret it more than anything in the world. My first time wasn't even special, and on top of that the second time I decided to have sex I ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery because my blood count went from a 12 to a 9. I'm 18, like a said before, and now I'm pregnant and as much as I wish that I wasn't I can't take it back. I can honestly say that I am in love with the father of my baby, but we just can't seem to make things between us work. I would love to share my story with other teens because I don't want them to end up in the situation I ended up in. Yes, I am in love with the father of my baby, but I finally had to make myself leave him for the sake of my baby. We had been dating for almost a year now, in April of this year we got into a big argument, it then turned violent, that was the first time he ever laid a hand on me. Until this day I wish I would've just left him then. The abuse went on for quite some time. I then found out that I was pregnant while at the Emergency Room one night over a cough that I had for about two weeks. He hit me a few times after finding
 
Personally I think that sex before marriage is a horrible idea, I can't really say I waited because I didn't. I think that teens having sex at ages 13 to 17 really is a bad idea. I'm 18 years old now and I wish I would've waited until I got married to have sex. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and I regret it more than anything in the world. My first time wasn't even special, and on top of that the second time I decided to have sex I ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery because my blood count went from a 12 to a 9. I'm 18, like a said before, and now I'm pregnant and as much as I wish that I wasn't I can't take it back. I can honestly say that I am in love with the father of my baby, but we just can't seem to make things between us work. I would love to share my story with other teens because I don't want them to end up in the situation I ended up in. Yes, I am in love with the father of my baby, but I finally had to make myself leave him for the sake of my baby. We had been dating for almost a year now, in April of this year we got into a big argument, it then turned violent, that was the first time he ever laid a hand on me. Until this day I wish I would've just left him then. The abuse went on for quite some time. I then found out that I was pregnant while at the Emergency Room one night over a cough that I had for about two weeks. He hit me a few times after finding
 
Personally I think that sex before marriage is a horrible idea, I can't really say I waited because I didn't. I think that teens having sex at ages 13 to 17 really is a bad idea. I'm 18 years old now and I wish I would've waited until I got married to have sex. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and I regret it more than anything in the world. My first time wasn't even special, and on top of that the second time I decided to have sex I ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery because my blood count went from a 12 to a 9. I'm 18, like a said before, and now I'm pregnant and as much as I wish that I wasn't I can't take it back. I can honestly say that I am in love with the father of my baby, but we just can't seem to make things between us work. I would love to share my story with other teens because I don't want them to end up in the situation I ended up in. Yes, I am in love with the father of my baby, but I finally had to make myself leave him for the sake of my baby. We had been dating for almost a year now, in April of this year we got into a big argument, it then turned violent, that was the first time he ever laid a hand on me. Until this day I wish I would've just left him then. The abuse went on for quite some time. I then found out that I was pregnant while at the Emergency Room one night over a cough that I had for about two weeks. He hit me a few times after finding
 
i havee never had sex at school.i recentlyy lost myy virginityy three months ago.i'm 14.turning 15 in december3.i am too scared to havee sex at homee becuasee i got walked in on byy myy mom about two months ago.myy mom camee in.shee fainted i had to call thee paramedics. i had a LOT of drama at school.lost people who i thought were myy friends.i knoee it mayy sound stupid but i might want to havee sex at school becuasee having sex at anyones housee scares mee.i reallyy love this guyy and i would do anyyhthing to bee with him even though it might mean having sex at school i noee it might sound reallyy immaturee and littlee girlish but i want him.but sometimes i get scared that i might get walked in on byy a staff worker.and what will happen next? i dont know.it was myy second time having sex and my mom walked in on mee it was embarassing and i fell into a hard depression.it was also very traumatizing.but i am learning to move on with no regrets but if i can go back into time i would change the way things were.but anyways i got to go.but ps. I LOVE YERR SHOW!!! i watch it all the timee.
 
Hi Tyra I'm Cookie and I'm from the westbank of New Orleans Louisiana. At my school there's alot of pregnet teens. One of whom i went to middle school with and she got pregnet the first time she did it...in high school. Me personally I'm still a virgin. I've had boy friends but I tell em if yew can't wait bye. I'm up front and real about it and I don't hold nothin in. Alot of girls i know have had sex by the time they were 14.Alot of them shock me and I try not surround my self with those types of girls. But I also try and tell them to wait that if a boy don;t like it let him go he aint worth it. Alot of my friends come to me for advice..i'm like the mama but i really try not to be i jus wanna help them an i think i could help some of the girls on your show if i knew them in real life or lived around them. When i graduate from high school im going to go to collage and I want to be a writer. I've alreay written and finished about 5 books. My friends and people at my school love to read my books they threaten that if i dont finish em they'll kill me..but they just be playin. My books are about teens or how teens grow up havin to raise babies without the daddy because he doesnt want to be there. They're really good. N/E ways i love your show i watch you everyday afta school and you inspire me to be successful.
 
HEY TRYA! im a 18 year old male and i have had sex with 25 guys! i love mess around with my friends brothers.... i cant help myself im a jerk...
 
hey, i am just wondering like i LOVE SEX and i have a significant other that doesn't want to yet i am at 11 year old girl and i am very sexuually frstrated wat shoudl i do "your friend Tia faye bailey
 
Hi Tyra, I watched your show on teen pregnacy and I belive that it is really sad what our pre-teens, and teens today think is cool. I can't lie tyra not too long ago I was a teenager. I thought that sex was cool. Until I became pregnant and also found out that I had contracted an STD. I felt so stupid because, I truly felt like sex would set me free.From all of my personal troubles. What was I thinking. Now I have a beautiful son named Jayden and a life lesson learned. I wished that someone had talked to me, loved me, or even cared enough to tell me somthing. I really like the fact that you are exposing teen girls stupidity you could be saving someone from what I am now going through.
 
Tyra- I was just reading through this blog and decided to comment. I'm 23 and my family was very strict on me growing up and I honestly think it's having a negative effect on my life now. I became sexually active when I was a junior in high school and I never told anyone. It was monogamous until college when we broke up. The problem I'm having now is trying to straddle the line between abstinence and dating. I tend to dabble a little when it comes to sexual situations but I never go all the way but sometimes I want to. It's like I'm so uptight about the situation and over analytical. I constantly think about the outcome if I went all the way and I keep losing dating partners. I believe in God and I want to wait till I get married this time around but I know it's very tempting and I'd rather say that I'm just selective with who I have sex with. I have this theory that I will only do it if we're in a relationship which I think is contradictory b/c the same things I'm worried about happening if I'm not in a relationship can happen with one. My ex and I had a bad break-up situation but we were very close and we almost got married. I don't think it's a comfort thing b/c I don't have a problem getting naked I just have a problem finishing. I haven't had sex with anyone else since my high school sweetheart and everytime I get into a sexual situation with a guy either they slowly drift away or I cut them off b/c I'm so nervous/afraid of being put in that situation again where we get all the way to the point where it's
 
hi tyra i saw your show on teen pregnancy and it was the best show little girls can watch. Now a days they think that having a baby is lyk taking care of a doll but the reality is that its not! I am 17 and I have a little brother and sister to take care of my brother is 5 and my sister is 4 and I have to take care of them all the time. I have a jo b to help my mom and I was really mad when i was watching these young girls say they wanted to have kids. I couldnt believe that already at these young ages girls are having sex when i was 12 i didnt even know wat sex was, and there are girls already having sex so young? i personally thnk that girls have there whole entire future ahead of them to have sex or to get pregnant! I love watching your show and I think it really helps alot of people you truely are a inspiration!
 
i recently had oral sex with one of my best friends and i just wanted to tell other girls that if youre considering doing something with a "friend", dont. the person i was with unfortuantely is the closest male friend i have. he has drug problems and came over my house with my best friend and her boyfriend. he was high and put me on the spot to have oral sex with him. i didn't know what to say so i just gave in. then a few days later, i got a text from him to come over his house with a friend before a soccer game. when i did i saw that, again, he was stoned and he asked me a second time in his room. i have feelings for him but know he and my friend *brittany have feelings for each other so i was nervous. i asked him "what about *brittany" and he said it "wasnt happening" so i gave in a second time. then he took more pills right after we finished and i was begging him to stop because hes become cold since starting to abuse substances again. the next day at school i asked him to come to the movies with a bunch of our old friends and he said "cant spending the whole weekend with *brittany". of course my best friend is away so i cant talk to her, my mom would never look at me the same way so i cant talk to her, and our other friends dont know. im stuck in a position that i hope other girls can avoid. i dont know what to do now that i feel betrayed and used. some people think oral sex isnt sex but it is, and having it with the wrong person
 
OK well I’m 13 and I think that sex is a gift from God and I should wait until I am married. My mom Hates it when I talk about guys and I just don't get it! I mean she acts like I’m going and sleeping Around. I was raped when I was around 5 or 6 by my friends brother and her dad walked in and called my mom she told me she found out but I think she thinks that I did it because I wanted too. We have not talked about it and I don't want To but I always wondered if she remembers.
 
Hi tyra i was watching your show today on teen pregnacy and it kind of shocked me to see how young these girls are and saying they want to have a baby. some of them are 12 and 13 years old and were already sexually active. i kind of understand what some of the gilrs are going through. i'm 18 and i became sexually active when i was 16. when i was 17 i had unproteced sex and i got pregnant. i told my sisters and my friends but my mom didn't know, i was going to tell my mom but by the time iwas going to tell her i already had a misscarriage and iwas 3 in a half months pregnant. i didn't tell my mom until a few months later. Tyra i think its good that u talk about teen pregnacy on your show that really helps and to all young teens out there, u should wait to have sex don't rush and don't let anybody pressure you.



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