sexinschools2.jpgIt's no secret: Kids are having sex younger and younger, and they're not just doing it in the backseat of dad's car. They're doing it in school. In fact, more and more teens are going behind the school stage, under the bleachers and into abandoned classrooms to do more than hold hands. Dr. Gary offers these tips to better understanding (and handling) teen sexuality.


1. Acknowledge your adolescent or teenage child is becoming a sexual being -- just like you did.


2. Realize children are becoming sexualized earlier and earlier. With the advent of the Internet, we are raising the first generation of children who are just one mouse click away from x-rated websites and other adult material. Combine that with a media that saturates kids with lots of sex and sexual imagery, and you've got a recipe for kids who are sexualized by the time they're 9 or 10 years old.


3. Raging hormones are VERY hard to combat. Give your children an outlet to burn off the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of them. Sign them up for activities like dance class or sports to help them redirect their energy.


4. Have open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with your child about sex. Sometimes parents have selective memories about their own "growing up" experiences and sexual experimentation. So let children know that you've had the same feelings they're feeling, and it's okay.


5. And if your child does have sex? Hold them closer to you. Talk to them with forgiveness and without judgment.

You tell us: What's the best way to talk to kids about sex?



NEXT: Would You Date a Guy Who Lives at Home?


 
I am 19 now and lost my virginity when i was 14 to my boyfriend of a year then we broke up at the time it didnt bother me but know i have been in a relationship for three years with my now fiance and im always wishing that i would have waited because he was a virgin..and i wasnt!! knowing im the only girl he has ever been with or will be with forever makes me so hppy but i wish that it could be the same for him! my advice for any girl is wait no matter if you think you ar ready or not just wait because most likley your not ready and you will end up regretting it in the end jut like me
 
Me being the mother of 3 daughters I would say that you should be very honest with them.If you tell them the half truth then you'll end up with a expecting daughter/son then you'll have no one to blame but yourself cause you told them the half of it.I plan to tell my daughters everything there is to know about sex the good,the bad,and most important of all the ugly.My oldest is 10 and she thinks boys are cute so I know my time is coming to have the talk.I'm pretty honest with other things that she ask me about so I know that this will be a breeze.My advice to all the mothers who don't know what to say is BE HONEST THEY'LL LISTEN IT MAY NOT LOOK LIKE IT BUT THEY ARE :)
 
Hi Tyra, I love your show and you are an inspiration to all women. I lost my virginity at the age of 18. At that time I thought I was "in love." Silly of me right? I don't regret doing it, however I wish my parents talked to me about sex and were open to talking about things. We talk but not so much. I am 21 now and I am still with the guy I was with since I was 18! I made a lot of mistakes, however I learned from them and hope for the best. I want to tell young women that they should wait till the right moment, time and especially right person because giving it up so soon its not worth it especially if the guy just uses you. You don't want to ever be in that situation nor feel like you were not worth it.
 
i'm ateeager and i'm not having sex. if i start havin sex i think parents will not judge me because i'm sex i think is were i do it
 
Im still only 16 and i am not having sex or thinking about having it. i think the best way for parents to adress their teens is to tell them that if this is what they choose that they will still accept them. Give them some free space and they will most likely see that you care about them and then choose the way you are telling them. The more you trust them the more they will come to you for things. Trust me on this one! just give them space and trust:)
 
Im still only 16 and i am not having sex or thinking about having it. i think the best way for parents to adress their teens is to tell them that if this is what they choose that they will still accept them. Give them some free space and they will most likely see that you care about them and then choose the way you are telling them. The more you trust them the more they will come to you for things. Trust me on this one! just give them space and trust:)
 
i had sex at 16 and my mom would kick me out if she knew, she thinks im a virgin and im currently dating this guy and she doesnt let me see him, so we have to find a different way, like when shes working. its just sad.
 
I do not really agree that talking to your children about sex will help prevent them from having sex at a younger age. My mother is always yelling at me about sex. Yelling at me to stay a virgin forever and dont ever have sex that it's not worth anything. Which we all know isn't true. I will admit I lost my virginity at 15 to my boyfriend at the time who ended up breaking up with me soon after. But I do not acctually regret having sex with him. No matter if your parents talk to you about sex, your going to have it at sometime in your life. but it's your choice to figure out when. You know yourself better then anyone else. So you have to decide with all the information that you've been told. My landlord and his family are close to my family. and he and my mother have fights about how to tell me about sex. He believes that as long as you teach them to be safe, and make sure they are safe then it's their choice, but my mother expects me to be a nun. I feel like if my mom didn't hound me as much about it i wouldn't have gotten so sexual so young. Though i have not had sex since i lost my virginity. so i guess the point that im trying to make is: You can talk to your children about sex, but hounding them about it isn't going to make things better.
 
I do not really agree that talking to your children about sex will help prevent them from having sex at a younger age. My mother is always yelling at me about sex. Yelling at me to stay a virgin forever and dont ever have sex that it's not worth anything. Which we all know isn't true. I will admit I lost my virginity at 15 to my boyfriend at the time who ended up breaking up with me soon after. But I do not acctually regret having sex with him. No matter if your parents talk to you about sex, your going to have it at sometime in your life. but it's your choice to figure out when. You know yourself better then anyone else. So you have to decide with all the information that you've been told. My landlord and his family are close to my family. and he and my mother have fights about how to tell me about sex. He believes that as long as you teach them to be safe, and make sure they are safe then it's their choice, but my mother expects me to be a nun. I feel like if my mom didn't hound me as much about it i wouldn't have gotten so sexual so young. Though i have not had sex since i lost my virginity.
 
okay so that black guy on the show who DIDNT have sex was hott!! oh yeah, and i must say that his mom really helped me and has a gread outlook on the manner. It is so true that nobody will respect your body until you do so i think that i will do just that to ensure that if ANY guy asks me to do "something" they will already be prepared for me to say no because they know i respect my body :) thanks!
 
Well Im 15 and i tink that sex should be saved for marriage because it is sacred. and once yo u give it up you could never get it back. I want to give minez to a man that cherish it and i think that would be mii husband because he obviously chersih me but thats just the though that pass mii mind i cant tell you what to do but i like the idea of not worrying about STDs or Being pregnant
 
hi tyra, my mom and dad dont knw i have had sex...they would probably lose their minds.i am 18 and lost my virginity at 17...my parents are very traditonal.and since sex is not an open topic in my house my parents didnt knw i was pregnaunt at 17 and had a miscarrige..they didnt knw i was in love because they dont allow me to date...but i did anyways..i was in love for 2yrs they had no clue..right knw i am in college and the sad thing is they dont even knw their own daughter because of their failer to talk to me..i knw they will judge me my parents are overly conservative..they are very religious and are active members...oh and also they dont knw i drink...even though i am in college they belive i am innocent..i think its a sad day when ur kids dont open up to u because they dont relate,feel like u will judge,or get punished...so my parents will never know....
 
hi tyra, my mom and dad dont knw i have had sex...they would probably lose their minds.i am 18 and lost my virginity at 17...my parents are very traditonal.and since sex is not an open topic in my house my parents didnt knw i was pregnaunt at 17 and had a miscarrige..they didnt knw i was in love because they dont allow me to date...but i did anyways..i was in love for 2yrs they had no clue..right knw i am in college and the sad thing is they dont even knw their own daughter because of their failer to talk to me..i knw they will judge me my parents are overly conservative..they are very religious and are active members...oh and also they dont knw i drink...even though i am in college they belive i am innocent..i think its a sad day when ur kids dont open up to u because they dont relate,feel like u will judge,or get punished...so my parents will never know....
 
Well im onlii 15 going on 16 in oCtober but i knoe alot about sex and i think it would be better to wait for marriage because it is secret and once you give it up you could neva get it bac and i think u should cherish it until you find the right one to cherish it for you alot of people try to have sex because they think it is the right thing to do but it is up to you to wait and tell your bf to wait for you to be ready if he can't thats on him you need to let him go becase that all he wanted you for any ways be smart about everything you put yourself inot i was taught that early in life.
 
to start off. i'm 16 years old and have been sexual active since i was about 13 years old. too soon... yeah. i know. i just wanted to first say that it's nothing the parents these days can really do to stop children from experiencing sex at an early age other than trying your hardest and talk to them openly, being understanding, REALLY hearing your child out, and not judging them. in order for that to happen, you have to first have an actual relationship with your child. they have to feel like they can trust you. i think that our generation is abusing sex. it's now a hobby, activity, entertainment, etc. i've learned from my mistake that sex is suppose to be something beautiful between a husband and wife. there's really no excuse for my behavior of the age of 13, but there were somethings going on in my life that pretty much pushed me into experimenting new things. 1. my mom, who i was always so close to, got on drugs, abanding me, moved out of state for several months without even telling me, dragging in different men every night... 2. i was living with my dad and step-mom who i had just met for the first time in my life and they kelp me so sheltered. i couldn't even stay a night at friend's house. 3. my body was going throw changes that i wasn't familiar with. the list could go on forever. i was trying to find something to ease all the hurt and pain. i tried drugs, i was ellergic, i drank, i only wanted more, so then i tried sex, it felt like for those few minutes it numb me and made it all go away. i guess what i'm trying to say is



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