sexinschools2.jpgIt's no secret: Kids are having sex younger and younger, and they're not just doing it in the backseat of dad's car. They're doing it in school. In fact, more and more teens are going behind the school stage, under the bleachers and into abandoned classrooms to do more than hold hands. Dr. Gary offers these tips to better understanding (and handling) teen sexuality.


1. Acknowledge your adolescent or teenage child is becoming a sexual being -- just like you did.


2. Realize children are becoming sexualized earlier and earlier. With the advent of the Internet, we are raising the first generation of children who are just one mouse click away from x-rated websites and other adult material. Combine that with a media that saturates kids with lots of sex and sexual imagery, and you've got a recipe for kids who are sexualized by the time they're 9 or 10 years old.


3. Raging hormones are VERY hard to combat. Give your children an outlet to burn off the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of them. Sign them up for activities like dance class or sports to help them redirect their energy.


4. Have open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with your child about sex. Sometimes parents have selective memories about their own "growing up" experiences and sexual experimentation. So let children know that you've had the same feelings they're feeling, and it's okay.


5. And if your child does have sex? Hold them closer to you. Talk to them with forgiveness and without judgment.

You tell us: What's the best way to talk to kids about sex?



NEXT: Would You Date a Guy Who Lives at Home?


 
i have a different story to others, but i am currently dating a girl. And were'v been together for over a year. Its really hard to keep this relationship on a downlow because were scared of what people would say about us and it would surely break our parents heart to tell them about it. Were'v done things that were not proud of.And if we were to go back to that time, im sure nothinig would of happened. I am not regreting the fact that im with this one beautiful girl of mine, but the fact that we have gone over board with intercourse. Dating your own sex is not a crime. And i believe that if it wasnt for her, i wouldnt be here at this time!!.. thanks, (just wanted to get it out!).
 
Hi My name is serena and iam 24 years old and i and writing this comment to give my personal experience with having sex to soon i agree that the pressure on any body at times can be unbearable but i wish i would have waited sex is a beautiful thing between a man and a women but it is only meant to be shared after the act of marriage most of us dream of that happy marriage some day but the truth is alot of us have taken the thrill out of marriage before every saying i do when you have sex with a person you are slowly but surely becoming one with that person and before realizing that there is a soul tie there and they are very hard to break most people dont realize that you have sex you take on a part of each others spirit after engaging in sex and we as men and women wonder why we can see more and more of ourselves in that mate and vice versa so what ever their dealing with now becomes your problem and it takes time of restoration and healing to over come those wounds for not waiting so now when you do marry all those past attachments are know there in your bedroom and we wonder why we are having a hard time staying faithful i made that mistake and am know seeing the consequences i can now help people by sharing but it isnt easy if we wait on the lord and dont grow weary he will send us our mates but if we dont we make the journey alot more difficult i am a women who decided not to commit in sex any more until marriage and i will not throw my pearls
 
Being a mother of four, two daughters and two sons, I believe children should wait until they are mentally and prepared for the out come. Too many young ladies are raising children alone. STD's are also a big concern. I have one teenager left a home and the most important thing I tell him is to respect himself and the young ladies. We do not want to bring any children into the world that we can't provide for. Sex is a very emotional thing for girls and once they become intimate with you, they mentally expect to be your girl friend. Casual sex is dangerous. Most young girls who are out there looking for sex are lonely and looking for love. I also believe sex is a big distraction for young men while they're still in school. Morals is a big thing. Children must learn to love themselves and hold fast. Love yourself and take your time. Sex is an adult activiy. Adults can provide for themselves and their children. I hope this message helps young people.
 
I am one of those teens who feel that they got sexual too soon. My mother was always very open with sex and i knew i could talk to her about any questions when ever i wanted to. Yet for some reason i felt that i needed to experience it for myself. I had a guy friend that really liked me and always told me how pretty i was. He always said how he wanted to be my boyfriend, but the only problem was that he was my best friends ex boyfriend. My mom always told me that you never date exs no matter what. I felt this rule was unfair and i would always hang out with him alone behind her back. One day she frustrated me so much and we both wanted to have sex so i decided to do it. I figured i would never get pregnate so i never had to worry. The sexual acts contuined until after a close scare with becoming pregnate was the waking up period of when i really believe that finally heard my mothers words.. i know i am not ready for a baby and don't want to be a teen mom. I am still friends with this guy but i made it clear that until i am ready to be in love and ready for the chance of a baby i will not have sex again.
 
i believe so much that parent should talk to children about sex. if i was told about sex i would have remain a virgin. i regret ever having sex and it hurts. i love your show tyra
 
I am 16 and I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of a year my boyfriend waited until I was ready because I respect my body, and when other guys ask me to have sex they are prepared for me to say no because I am very loyal to my boyfriend. I believe that sex should be save for marriage because its very sacred, and you can never get back what has been lost. I only had sex because I was ready and so was my boyfriend. We use a condom every time we do it. I love my boyfriend and he loves me back as much as I love him. I believe that sex should be shared by 2 people who are in love and people shouldn't do it because of lust they should do it with love. Having sex btween 2 ppl its sort of like a commitment to each other a commitment tht proves to each person that their partner trust them with their life. I respect my body. I love your show Tyra. Your show has inspired many women around the world keep it up.
 
I am 16 and I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of a year my boyfriend waited until I was ready because I respect my body, and when other guys ask me to have sex they are prepared for me to say no because I am very loyal to my boyfriend. I believe that sex should be save for marriage because its very sacred, and you can never get back what has been lost. I only had sex because I was ready and so was my boyfriend. We use a condom every time we do it. I love my boyfriend and he loves me back as much as I love him. I believe that sex should be shared by 2 people who are in love and people shouldn't do it because of lust they should do it with love and 2 people have to trust each other with their lives. Having sex is sort of like a commitment to the two people that are having sex.
 
Hi tyra, Most of my friends and the people i know in my school are not virgin. A couple of times a week i get pressured to have sex. Im ONLY 14 years old. And its hard to say no. But i have to when it comes to certain thing like this. It's very hard becuase all the pressure is on me. Im in h.s now and maybe 25 percent or least are virgins. And i tell them i would have sex when i am physical, mental, and emotionally ready.And i hope youy respect that and soetimes they get upset. And i do your style.SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!
 
my mother found out that I have been pressured into having sex, and without asking me if I was actually doing it, she started to call me gross names that really upset me! She thinks she is the one who knows me, but not really! How could she not know that I would never do that until Im married! I feel that if I talk to my mom about sex she will judge me without knowing the situation! I love my mom, but I can't talk to her! I wish she knew me better! victoria
 
my mother found out that I have been pressured into having sex, and without asking me if I was actually doing it, she started to call me gross names that really upset me! She thinks she is the one who knows me, but not really! How could she not know that I would never do that until Im married! I feel that if I talk to my mom about sex she will judge me without knowing the situation! I love my mom, but I can't talk to her! I wish she knew me better! victoria
 
my mother found out that I have been pressured into having sex, and without asking me if I was actually doing it, she started to call me gross names that really upset me! She thinks she is the one who knows me, but not really! How could she not know that I would never do that until Im married! I feel that if I talk to my mom about sex she will judge me without knowing the situation! I love my mom, but I can't talk to her! I wish she knew me better! victoria
 
i definatley don't talk to my mom about sex
 
Hi Tyra, I'm a mom of 2 teen boys (13 1/2 and almost 17). I've been talking about sex with them since they were born whenever issues came up. I've told them as little or as much as they wanted to know -age appropriate, of course. I always even today try to leave the conversations open to let them know I'm always here. I've tried to cover the male issues and female issues. My boys need to be just as responsible for their behavior as any girl. We've watched births together, discussed erections and talked about out of control hormones. I prefer abstinance for them but I believe knowledge is beneficial and their lives are most important. I have no problem discussing sex issues with my oldest son's girlfriend or the boys' friends if it comes up. I don't believe you can give them too much information. I feel the more accurate information they have the better equipped they are to make smart decisions. Talk to your kids, keep an open mind, give your opinions ans then respect your child's and mainly just LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY!! Love your show! June Hiott
 
I lost my virginity at 16 got pregnate and had to grow up fast. My mother never told us about sex so i thought it was ok to do. I am 21 now I thank God i recieved the opportunity to go to college and raise my son alone. I wish that there was more education available to me so that i couldve known what consequences and reputations u could gain.
 
Hi tyra, I lost my virginity when I was 16 with my boyfriend of 4 months, but he had been my best friend before. I love him dearly and will never regret it, and I mean ever its been 2 years nearly and he's still the only boy I want to be with. Sadly that isnt so. I think sex at any age, needs to be by 2 people who love each other and are ready. Me and him were ready, but I was only ready to be with him. Sex at a younger age, I think that the participants need to support each other, especially if they have parents who chasitise them for everything and make them think that they will be killed if they ever do anything intimate



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