sexinschools2.jpgIt's no secret: Kids are having sex younger and younger, and they're not just doing it in the backseat of dad's car. They're doing it in school. In fact, more and more teens are going behind the school stage, under the bleachers and into abandoned classrooms to do more than hold hands. Dr. Gary offers these tips to better understanding (and handling) teen sexuality.


1. Acknowledge your adolescent or teenage child is becoming a sexual being -- just like you did.


2. Realize children are becoming sexualized earlier and earlier. With the advent of the Internet, we are raising the first generation of children who are just one mouse click away from x-rated websites and other adult material. Combine that with a media that saturates kids with lots of sex and sexual imagery, and you've got a recipe for kids who are sexualized by the time they're 9 or 10 years old.


3. Raging hormones are VERY hard to combat. Give your children an outlet to burn off the overwhelming feelings stirring inside of them. Sign them up for activities like dance class or sports to help them redirect their energy.


4. Have open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with your child about sex. Sometimes parents have selective memories about their own "growing up" experiences and sexual experimentation. So let children know that you've had the same feelings they're feeling, and it's okay.


5. And if your child does have sex? Hold them closer to you. Talk to them with forgiveness and without judgment.

You tell us: What's the best way to talk to kids about sex?



NEXT: Would You Date a Guy Who Lives at Home?


 
Hey trya, im fifteen going on sixteen, i am still a virgin but many of my friends are not. It is kind of crazy how a lot of them talk about it like if it was something cool, specially if you had sex with more than one guy and you are only fifteen. I hope to be abstain from it until I feel it is the right time and I have me the right person. Sex is suppose to be something nice two people share, not something you do to seem cool!
 
Hey tyra, my name is elizabeth/ eli, i am 13 and in eight grade. I'm a virgin thank god!!! There are many 8th, 7th, and yes even sixth graders at my JUNIOR high school who are sexually active, it's a very debatable topic but for me i beleive in abstenance. Its not that im super religious or anything its just not for TEENS there are so many things that could go wrong it might make ur relationship worse, u could be pregnant and you could also get STDs. As for me i am hoping to be able to abstain until marrige or atleast until I know the time is right. Teens should relaize how it would change their life and maybe less teens will be having sex. PS i love your show Tyra!!!
 
hi my name is kimincess, i was 13 years old when i lost my virginity with my boyfriends but unfortunitely i dont know which of them is the father of my baby. my mom still dont know that im pregnant, having 10 boyfriends at a time is really difficult to handle oh my gosh ! can you believe that?
 
Hey Tyra, My name is Jessica and I am 16 years old. I lost my virginity when I was 13, I honestly dont know why I had sex at a young age. I knew I wasnt ready, but it just happend. I wish I lost it later than sooner, and regret it alot. I think its the immaturity that gets us, we think that its going to make our relationship better, and we might get closer to our boyfriends. In all reality it just screws it all up. So I just say, wait. I know I wish I did. Also, if you had sex already, be honest with your parents, my dad and I are honest with eachother and its great cause I know I can talk to him, he also put me on BC so nothing bad happends. Closure is good between your parents and you. If you think that your 'rents arent the people to talk to about it, guess again. You will never know their true outcome unless you tell them...Believe me, I thought my dad would flip a lid, but he was actually very calm about it...
 
hey tyra gurl i luv your show!! anyways iam an 18 year old female about to be 19 in october. I already have two kids!.I had my first child when I was 15yrs old! i had my 2nd child when i was 16. I luv my babies to death but its hard! I thonestly can say that teenage gurls should wait to have sex! if the guy you think is that one cant wait for you then its not worth it! he's not worth it! please ladies wait til your married!! karina
 
Hi Tyra , I am an 18 year old virgin . I recently just graduated from high school this year and i feel so proud of my self for making it out with my virginity because i feel like while i was in high school peer pressure had taken hold of all my BFF's and now all of them is pregante except for me so i give my self a pat on the back everyday. I think that you shouldn't have sex with someone because all your friends are doing it . I think that you will feel when it's the right time for you to give your virginity up to that special someone .. because having sex isn't bad at all you just have to be sure and safe about it and evertything would be fine. Love, Tamara
 
Hi Tyra, I am 15 going on to 16,and i am no longer a virgin. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was barely 14 years old.At first everything was going well with my boyfriend, I felt like if having sex made us even closer and i felt like if he loved me even more.There were times were i tought tha I had been pregnant but as soon as I found out that i was'nt i continued to have sex with my boyfriend.Just about a month ago, my mom found out that i had been having sex, she freaked out,started crying, and she even called my boyfriends mom to tell her everything. After about a week she started to understand that i really did love my boyfriend, so she decided to give me another chance and she accepted my relationship with my boyfriend. But, yesterday i was about to cut my veins because i've been having a lot of problems with my boyfriend. I feel like if he doesnt love me anymore and im real sad because hes the man i gave my virginity to and i still love him.... Tyra, Please help me!!
 
As a 17 year old with a boyfriend of almost two years, I know the pressures of being sexually active. But I'm also probably the most involved person at my church, besides my boyfriend and the church staff. I know that it is a hard decision to make, but deciding to be abstinent is a choice. If you are strong enough in your faith, then it's a no-brainer. ...a word of advice: if you and your boyfriend are in love, then I PROMISE that if your relationship is meant to be, then it will happen, no matter what. So if you truly feel that you are together forever, then why rush things now? You have your whole life for that kind of stuff. (:
 
hey tyra! growing up with my parents being hard core right wing Christians, sex and how people reproduced was a huge question mark. when they moved to urban parts of the city because they chose to live humble missionary-like lifestyles, sex was thrown on me by urban culture. actually, sexual harassment was common place at my grammar school. the teachers never tried to stop it. i had to learn what sex was against my own will from the boy next to me shoving his hands down his pants and flashing me occasionally. I hated men and sex for years. I took refuge in my parents religion, which resulted in banging my head against a wall every night for having hormones that I did not want or understand. Ever since I've become an atheist I've been finding happiness and peace in my life like never before. I SAY EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT SEX BEFORE THEY GET THROWN INTO SITUATIONS LIKE MINE. WHEN YOU LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN IT MAKES THEM NOT TRUST YOU, MOST OF THE TIME THEY WILL TAKE REFUGE IN THEIR SEXUAL INTREST FOR THE ATTENTION AND TRUTH YOU DENIED THEM. THIS IS HOW MANY YOUNG WOMEN WIND UP HAVING ABORTIONS BECAUSE THEY VALUE THE PRIDE OF THEIR PARENTS AND CHOOSE TO KEEP THEIR ALTERNATE RELATIONS SECRET. STOP LYING TO YOUR CHILDREN. EDUCATE THEM.
 
DONT TALK ABOUT SEX CUZ IT WILL MAKE THEM WANNA DO IT! I KNOW I WANT TO!
 
Sex before marriage is definitely a sin.
 
Pre-marital sex is a sin. You want proof, open your Bible..that book won't lie,its from the one who gave you the chance to live.
 
I grew up in a Christian home, so obviously, believing sex before marriage is a sin. I had decided that I was going to wait until my wedding night to have sex, not because of my parents, but because that is the ONE thing I could keep special, just for the one guy I would spend my life with. It would be the way I would show him he was different than any other guy I have been with. I'm now 18 years old, and no longer a virgin. I met this guy at school, we hit it off amazing. We connected great, we were so comfortable with eachother and I was so sure we would be together forever. I loved him. He loved me. He said he wanted to get married, and we were talking about arrangements, dates, etc. so I figured, hey I'm gonna marry this guy anyway so why wait? I finally ended up having sex with him. We stayed together just a few more months and he dumped me. It crushed me. Something I had held onto for seventeen years, lost, because of one man's amazing ability to lie and decieve. Unfortunately, I didn't know I wasn't the first girl he planned to marry, apparently he wants to just marry us all. It was the biggest mistake of my life, and now I have to find a way to explain to the man I do love and who does love me why I could have sex with some other guy, but not with him.
 
I remember my first time thinking about sex. I was about 16 years old and like most teenagers all of my friends were sexually active but I was always scared because of all the things I knew about diseases going around and becoming pregnant was a risk factor. Even my freshman year of college I was still a virgin and I had tons of things happening around me, but I was still thinking about the risk of becoming sexually active. I never talked to my mom, instead I always told my father everything, even my feminine issues. I could tell my dad was kind of uncomfortable with a lot of the things I would express because I am his only girl. Then I made a change and 4 months before my 20th birthday, basically 9 months ago I lost my virginity and I began what most would call a "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" relationship and I fell apart emotionally when it came to an end a few months ago.I fell apart because I am a African American plus size young lady and where I live alot of guys are into size 7 or below and so that is a stereotype within itself,and at first it was hard to deal with but having my two amazing bestfriends and GOD really helped me through it. I just want all teens to know if you are going to have sex just be knowledgeable about what you getting yourself into. Meaning know about the different diseases you can contract because you are risking your life, know your chances of becoming impregnated or guys getting a young lady pregnant, ALWAYS USE PROTECTION no matter what people aren't always honest about their health, and please make sure that you are emotionally prepared for the different outcomes. SMOOCHES,
 
Hi,Tyra I'm 15 going on 16 and I'm still a virgin.A lot of my friends aren't virgins,I used to think I was missing something by not having sex.That if everyone is doing it,why shouldn't I.My mom never really talked to me about sex,she was just straight forward saying if you have sex you'll get pregnant.I can't talk to my mom about anything dealing with relationships or sex she freaks out about it.Everything I learned I did it on my own,friends or the internet.I want to talk to her but she's to difficult.I talk to my aunt.I think my mom gets mad because she knows I talk to my aunt about sex and not her.My aunt isn't judgmental and she listens.Sex used to make me wonder a lot,but I won't have sex until I'm ready emotionally.I can be more honest with my aunt then with my mom, because she just doesn't understand.I don't think sex is something that should wait until your married.When I'm ready I'll know.



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