Wed. Jul 09, 2008 | 6:39 PM

Read this if you're feeling pressure to fit in, hook up or use drugs.

stressedteens.jpg
Growing up is hard. And it's even harder when you're trying to figure out who you are, where you fit in, what people think of you and if you're good enough.

Well here's a news flash -- you are good enough. In fact, you're too good to succumb to pressures to hook up, change who you are or use drugs or alcohol. So read on for some important ways to beat the heat.


Be Yourself
We've all heard this before -- but it's important. Take pride in what you stand for and why you're unique, even if you're not part of the "in crowd." Surround yourself with people who like the real you, and focus on what makes you stand out -- like your style and your viewpoints. Before you know it, people will be looking up to you.

No One's Perfect!
Forget what you see in magazines -- it's all airbrushed! The more you focus on the size of your jeans, the less time you have to build your self-respect. And let's face it -- everyone feels awkward about their looks in high school. You're definitely not alone. But if you're struggling with serious issues like an eating disorder, Click here for information on getting help.

Hookup Hang-ups
Despite what you hear (or see on TV), not everyone is having sex. In fact, 73% of teens see no reason to feel embarrassed about being a virgin. And here's good reason to wait -- not only will you avoid STD's, but one in five teen girls will have a baby before age 20. Can you imagine being a mom right now? Yeah, we thought not.

Just Say No
No matter how hard life gets, drugs and alcohol are not the answers. In fact, they're just temporary escapes -- and many users report feeling even more isolated than they did before. Then there are the scary side effects: addiction, mental and physical changes, car accidents and death. Just your first try with inhalants can kill you. If you need help with addiction, click here to find a treatment facility near you.

Avoid the Hype
If a group of people are pressuring you, examine the reasons why. They could be unsure of themselves and looking for security in numbers. Remember that no one person -- from the most popular girl in school to the class bully -- has the power. Truth is everyone's just trying to find their way, too.


NEXT: Pat the Weave: Tyra Learns how to Back Beyonce Up!
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hi Tyra my name is Melissa and i understand all the pressures of being a teen. i go thru it daily. in fact im going thru quit of it right now. sometimes the pressures can be so overwhelming. but i just gotta smile thru it all. but out of the many pressures there is sex, people are pushing a subject that shouldn't be rushed, im still a virgin and im 17, but thru the pressure people feel bcuz there not 1 i shouldn't be either. but i feel that being a virgin is not a bad thing. for one your not worrying weather you can be pregnant or catch an std, so thats positive. but there are many pressures at home to and i feel the show you did about hichschool and the pressures. i feel the same as one of the other girls you had on the show, when im at school i feel i go there to get away from home because its so much going on there. but yea i could talk for a while so im going to stop right here. Love, Melissa B.
Posted by melissa 07/14/08 7:19 PM
 
Heyy Tyra, Im writting to you from Canada:) I live in ontario and its a really good place to live but going into grade 11 with people knoing you as the "fat" one hurts me alot, and iv tryed alot to become more thinn but with little money and my clothing wering down its even worse. Im stressed alot because of everythin thats going on in my home and trying to focuse on a 80% average its killing me and on top of that thers all the highschool drama everythin from people makin fun of me because im poor, to having a backstabbing best friend. Kids that are in grade 6 having and thinking about sex, thats wrong and we do need a strong role model for them. My grade 6 year no one wore mini skirts and tube tops people in public school didnt really have boyfriends because it would always be way to wierd if they broke up. its not like they can just avoid them like in highschool. Its just wierd to no how much things have changed in the past 5 years imagin what it will be like in another 5 years... Sara
Posted by Sara 07/14/08 7:03 PM
 
Dear Tyra, It is true that girls are under more pressure than ever before. I am 17 and I have witnessed girls as young as 12 already having sex. She then got an STD. That mad me so upset. She was only 12 and she has an STD. My friends and I discussed this, and all of us were very sad for all the young women. I remember when I was 12 and it is nothing like what girls are going through now. I never cursed, did drugs, even thought of having sex! Now, little girls walk around in mini skirts cursing and having boyfriends! What young women need is a strong role model and I think you are a fantastic role model. You can go on t.v. and tell us that no matter what we are special.We don't need to follow the trend and to stick up for ourselves. It doesn't matter about your size either! That is what we need right now. Constanly we are being told how to look and what size we should be. SO THANK YOU!! My friends and i just say, SO WHAT!? Of course when it comes down to it, it depends on what a person stands for. All the teens in the world need to scream, "I AM ME, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. AND I LOVE MYSELF FOR THAT!" Thank you Tyra for being a great role model. -Molly
Posted by Molly 07/14/08 3:09 PM
 
Hi Tyra, As I was reading the comments I tried to see how I could relate to each of these younge women. I found myself relating to them in the way that "yes there is a lot of pressure out there" but at the end it really depends on the kind of person you are and the kind of people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people who are insecure and 'fool around' with numerous guys then chances are you will as well. I have flaws but i hold myself to a very high standard and look at my body as a temple. All girls should because it's true. I feel who ever I have sex with (when ever I have sex) will love me, better yet, i know he will love me just as i would love him. I think girls now should hold themselves to very high standards and not listen to what other people trying to judge them say because in the end there's only one person that can judge me...and that's GOD. -Lauren,16,senior in high school
Posted by Lauren 07/13/08 8:45 PM
 
I have been in the drug seen and have watched one that i love go through it to. We halped eachother out of the life. I have saw what drugs do to familys and friends. My mom did drugs and i sat in the hospital when my 14 year old sister over dosed tring to kill herself. What could be so hard for a 14 year old girl that she would want to do that. Drugs for me was a reason not to care because i thought no one else cared for me. I wanted to feel nothing and people i thought were my friends accepted that side of me, but when i didnt want to doit anymore they all stopped talking to me.
Posted by Markea Poplin 07/12/08 11:26 AM
 
Hello Tyra,im Rose from South Africa,im 18 years old and i have scars from last when i had acne,this has hampered my confidence and sometimes im self conciuos,please help,Love me P.S I love your show and Top model is my favourite programme,say hello to Janise and Jay,enjoy your day
Posted by rose 07/12/08 4:59 AM
 
Hello Tyra,im Rose from South Africa,im 18 years old and i have scars from last when i had acne,this has hampered my confidence and sometimes im self conciuos,please help,Love me P.S I love your show and Top model is my favourite programme,say hello to Janise and Jay,enjoy your day
Posted by rose 07/12/08 4:55 AM
 
Hi TYRA. MY NAM3 iS ASHL33 AND i AM 16 YRS 0LD. i LiV3 iN M0R3N0 VALL3Y, CALiF0RNiA. i WATCH Y0U SH0W 3V3RYDAY. i L0V3 T0 SiNG AND DANC3,SiNC3 iM N0T H0M3 WH3N Y0UR 0N, i R3C0RD iT 0N MY DVR AND 3V3RY M0RNiNG B3F0R3 SCH00L i WATCH iT AND TRY T0 APPLY THE MORAL iNT0 MY DAY. i G0 T0 A C0NTiNUATi0N SCH00L B3CAUS3 iM A Y3AR B3HiND AND i AM A S3Ni0R..."09" i HAV3 PR3SSUR3 T0 GRADUAT3 0N TiM3, N0T G3T PR3GNANT B3F0R3 TH3 AG3 0F 20, N0T T0 ALWAYS R3S0RT T0 ARGUiNG ALTH0UGH iT WAS ALL i KN3W GR0WiNG, 0H AND TRYiNG T0 STAY F0CUS3D 0N G0D WHiL3 ALL TH3 PR3SSUR3 AND STRUGGL3S, BUT Y0UR SH0W H3LPS M3 HANDL3 TH3M ALL S0 THANK Y0U TYRA BANKS F0R B3iNG MY H3R0 LADY
Posted by Ashlee wilson 07/12/08 1:08 AM
 
hi tyra see i was in 6th grad enow goint to jr high u see i use to have a friend names alley and she had a boyfriend and well yeah they were DEEP in love but the point is that they would do thing like kiss and she would look down his pants and they would touch each other. untill one day we were hanging out ok and she told me ivonne im ready and i said wat do u mean ur ready and she told me tyra she was ready to have sex with her 6 month boyfriend. but i told her wati could and wat any one else would i told her " alley no one is ever ready at mine and urs age. ur only 13 and thinking about having sex.no tell me honestly do u see ur self with a baby at 14 or 15. NO. and i knw u dont alley u have ur whole life ahead of u ok look at it this way i love to sing and u knw im good i want to be able to have a recording lable in the future and be famouse but if i would have had a baby at 14 oe 15 or even 13 do u think i would be able to get a recording deal NO so alley why do it now and not wait" tyra i did all i could do but me and her stoped being friends and i still love to sing and wish in the future i could get sumwere with my singing and i wish her to make better chooses and to wait im 13 and for all the girls out there heres my advice..."wait wait having sex isnt everything u really gonna see ur self with
Posted by ivonne 07/11/08 8:05 PM
 
Hi Tyra, My name is sammarian and i am 17. I have 3 children. A set of b-e-autiful twin girls and a baby boy. thoughout life, i've always felt like i was one big mistake. My family disowns me and i have an abusive boyfriend. I have been prostituting since i was 11 years old so that i can support my children and my boyfriend. I'm not asking for much tyra. All i want is for someone to tell me that they love me and really mean it. Love you tyra
Posted by Sammarian 07/11/08 7:47 PM
 
hey tyra i love your show and everything you talk about is so relevent and i always learn something new. I'm 15 yrs old and lately ive felt alot of pressure to have sex especially since ive started going out with this really sweet guy i know in my heart im not ready to have sex but i feel like i want to. could you please give me some advice on how to resist the pressure.I want to wait to as long as i can.
Posted by AYSHA 07/11/08 3:15 PM
 
Hi, I am an 18 year old woman who has grown up close to her family and have strong standards and opinions about the world I have to live in. I have respect for each woman picking whatever works for her to live in this world. But I don't think marriage alone is the deciding factor for everyone. If a young woman wants to define her life by getting married that is her choice, but there are others who may want to be sexual without marriage when they are older and more mature. Not being ready emotionally to be sexual is ok too. I totally agree that young women have far more power to define how young men treat them and should get in touch with what they really want in the relationship beyond just sex. And if the guy isn't accepting of that then young women who aren't ready to be sexual should not do it and no one has the right to pressure her. But, I don't agree that marriage is the only deciding factor. Some young women may not be religious, but they are not sluts and want to be in charge of their own lives!! In a responsible way.
Posted by Selene 07/11/08 2:01 PM
 
Hey Tyra! I think you are the most beautiful woman on the planet! So many girls are dealing with body image issues and I used to be one of them. Some days I'd love my body and other times I wished I was skinnier or shorter (i'm 5'10") or my nose was smaller. But I love my body now! Sure, there are a few stretchmarks and red spots on my legs, but so what! Every woman can find something, just one thing on her body to love and flaunt. Maybe it's her hair, smile, eyes, chest, legs, stomach, whatever! My best advice to everyone is find something you like on your body and smile at yourself when you look in the mirror! If you are large and don't feel confident with your body, just make sure your hair looks good, put on some pretty makeup and smile! It makes all the difference!
Posted by Marissa 07/11/08 1:26 PM
 
HI Tyra :D my name is Crystal Oscare-few i am 13 years old and i am going into gr.9 i need help with my body weight and i don't know what to do. i been called fat, fatty, etc every night i think about what to do about this and i try so hard to cut down. i don't want to go into high school like this!! pleas help me Tyra from a fan Crystal
Posted by Crystal 07/11/08 12:41 PM
 
WOW, you girls have a lot of problems! I am 21 and my little sister is 14, and i'm so glad she doesnt have these problems like these girls here! She tells me everything, and i give her the best advice i can :) There are many things I don't like about American culture, and one of them is this pressure for young girls to have sex. Did you all know that in other countries, such as Iran and Egypt in the Middle East, have cultural values that means waiting till you're married to have sex? It's a great idea! I am glad that my Iranian cultural values gave me confidence to not give in to any pressures .. They way I was raised, it is just not heard of to have sex before you're married. That's just what is expected of me. By the way, I went to an American high school in California, and while there was some pressure from others to do things I knew were not right, I didn't do them because of my beliefs and good upbringing. Also, alot of it has to do with your parents..the single most important influence on a young person's life....they can really screw you up!! I am just glad I was raised the right way, and my little sister is as well :) All you American young girls out there need to have some self-respect and self-worth, and stop being HOES!!! You are the ones making guys expect it!! THINK ABOUT IT!! Peace
Posted by Shahzadeh 07/11/08 12:32 PM



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