Get Over It (and Him!)
07/28/08 2:04 PM
Are you ex-obsessed or are you sooo ready to move on?
Okay, so he might slip into your dreams (or nightmares!) every once in a while. And you may still wonder how he's doing -- or if he's already got a new girl by his side. But how can you tell if you're over your ex or still super-obsessed? Use our handy checklist to see if you're moving forward or still stuck in the past.
Your this-close to forgetting his name if:
• You have no desire to kiss him just one last time.
• You're ready to start doing the things you did before you got together. Doing yoga in the middle of the living room floor, having all-night gabfests with the your girls...you know, the things that always drove him crazy. Good thing he's not around to whine about it!
• You've stopped checking his Myspace or Facebook profile.
• He's got a new girl on his arm, and all you can think is, "So what?" You've been that girl, and you know what she's in for. You've seen all of his emotional baggage -- heck, you even carried it around for a while -- and you don't envy her. She can have him!
• You wouldn't think twice about rekindling your love. No matter how much he begged, apologized or stood outside of your window in the rain blasting your favorite song while holding a radio over his head...you're sooo done.
You're still stuck in the past if:
• You can't delete his number from your cell. If the mere thought of removing him from your contacts triggers some kind of weird asthma attack, you're not ready to snap out of it.
• You still talk to your friends about him at least once a day. (Usually more!)
• You accidentally call your new man (your doorman and your waiter) by your ex's name. Whether it's during a hot make-out sesh, on the phone or whatever, this is a surefire sign that your old flame is still on your mind.
• You can't remember why you broke up. But you're pretty sure it's forgivable. And you're absolutely positively sure that getting back together (and still fighting over the same old issues) is better than being alone.
• You still have his voicemails saved. And if you play them back -- every day, just as a quick pick-me-up because you miss the sound of his voice -- you are 100 percent not ready to hit the dating scene.
Okay, it's your turn to spill. Tell us how you know when you're over an ex.
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TYRA,
well im writing thins cause i dont im confused about everything n im a teen well when i first met my ex we talked as friends i known him for like 2 years as friends finally when he was in high school and i was in my last year of junor high he asked me out n i said yes cause he was my crush since 6 grade n he was in 8th grade...then we broke up n then in the end we got togther...we been togther for like five months n he always told me how he feels about me n how he loves me but for me i was afraid i told him i loved him but i didnt really prove him or told him how i feel about him...he tell me y dont i tell him how i really feel or prove him i do but i never told him i was afraid to love him but when i do love him n tell him everything but i didnt but some how since i didnt really show him how i feel he got to the point that he felt like crap n how i dont respect him n so he broke up with me ...i was so crush that happen cause i really do loved him but i was afraid cause i seen for experience how my friends got hurt but i never thought i was hurting him but i guess i did but after that he called but not how he use to he told me how i made him feel like crap n how he felt like i didnt even care or loved him he told me that he felt like i threw our relationship like it was nothing but i told him it did mean something but i still didnt tell him why
6 months later we didnt talk much but i heard he still likes me n we tryed to talk but it got worse he cam to my house but instead of us talkin n try to talk about our relationship we had sex n neither of us planed it he left then the next day he called but he made me feel like crap how he talk to me n the next week i called him n we were argueing about what happen n then we both felt like crap but i asked him if he still cares about me or have feelings for me n he told me yes but in a way no cause u hurted me n it made me feel more worse cause i felt like i was use when he was my first to lose it... so i heard enough n i told him i regret everything about us n forget about us n me n he sounded like he was sad too n told me i never planned this too happen n he just said in a sad kind of way bye .....n we been through alot n ever since that happen i earse his number but i still remeber it but i dont call him but i hearin alot of thing n make matter of worse im going to the same school hes going n im still confused if i still like him cause theres sum days i cry cause everything we been through n he was first guy like i like really care n love but he wasnt my fisrt bf he was my fisrt bf i really did care about n i feel like we still might have feelings for eachother but i dont know help...
Ths is for Danielle Hudspeth, I am writing to you beacuse you shouldn't be going back to your ex. He is only going to hurt you. I understand your situation because my mom dealt with it. You probably don't love him like you said, its just that your subconscience is telling you that he is going to change even though you know that he is never going to.something keeps telling you to give him the benefit of the doubt. You have to be strong and realize that the more you give in the more your going to get hurt and maybe even lose your life. Do not feel obligated in giving him another chance. It might make you feel guilty but its not you its your conscience.If it is that serious where he is hurting you you should just get a restraining order aganist him and know that you can be happy and not used to him treating you this way. That is what you asre used to and you might be scared if change don't be do it for the better.
Tyra,
I have been in an on-off again relationship for 5 years now!!!! Shane and I met when we were 16 at our work and we became really good friends. Eventually we became more!!! We dated for about 5 months when he said we needed to talk and he told me we should break up because he thought he was gay!!!! I was DEVASTATED....Well 2 days later he was in love with me so we got back together....A year and 1/2 of the relationship he left me for my best friend Amber!!! Again DEVASTATED!!!....So we quit talking for awhile and I started to heal....but he called me out of the blue and we started talking again after things didnt work out with Amber....Well you guessed it a year later we got back together...everything was fine for a month or so and then things started to get abusive...he would threaten me and throw me up against the wall and was really mean to me...even left some bruises!!! I was forbidden to see my family and was not allowed to talk about them....The drama caused me to lose my job and as soon as no income was coming in he broke up with me.....So 5 months later he claims to have changed and I give him the benifit of the doubt AGIAN only to again be hurt!!!! Why do I keep doing this to myself...I feel like a fool!!! I am no longer in love with him but I always think things will change and be better.....I dont know what do you think???
Danielle
oh tyra, im soooooooooo over him!! he didnt like me back anyway, so bump him!! nahm sayn?? :)
oh tyra, im sooooo over him! he didnt like me back anyway, so bump him!!! :)
Hi Tyra i been with my babydaddy for 2years about to be 3 n december n im 8months due n september i wont to get over him cause evertime we get into it he always bring up his first babymama so i done im still young im about to be 19teen in october but im going to let him be in his son live u know im not going to take that away at all but im so in luv with him i dont know what to do he just hurt me so bad but yet i still go back to him i need help
thanks tyra
Hi Tyra i been with my babydaddy for 2years about to be 3 n december n im 8months due n september i wont to get over him cause evertime we get into it he always bring up his first babymama so i done im still young im about to be 19teen in october but im going to let him be in his son live u know im not going to take that away at all but im so in luv with him i dont know what to do he just hurt me so bad but yet i still go back to him i need help
thanks tyra
Hey Tyraa, i'm 16 yrs old and i totally could not get over my ex no matter what i did. i know im still young but i dont know what it was about him i just always wanted it. I tried even seeing other guys but no i couldnt do it. All my friends and even my mom was like move on move on your better than him you can find someone elsee, see tyra he had cheated on me with his ex... the night my best friend was murderedd. He and her, started dating again not long after we had broken up and i had found out that she was Pregnant no matter how hard i tried to forget him i couldnt.. a few months later he had started talking to me again and i was falling hardd. now after about 9-10 months being apart we are back together and he is so much different than he was the first timee. I really hope that his Ex stays outta it this time. He is always saying how this time its real and she wont come between us and all this and yea part of be wants to believe him but the other part says he's done it once.... i just really want him to be 10000% over his ex and maybee i cant find out if this time its real. I know im young like i said before and i prolably sound like a grown women, but i really care about this guyy, and i just cant give him upp.
Thanks Tyraa
Hey Tyra. Let's get real! I believe that no woman ever fully gets over an ex - we are way too emotional. So even if he cheated or was abusive or the fire went out there is still something that every woman holds near and dear to her heart about an ex no matter how horrible the relationship was. There is a song, or a food or a movie that brings back those warm fuzzy feelings. Women move on but they never forget and they never fully get over their ex. what do you think tyra? have you fully gotten over all your ex's? Have you truely let go of all the memories?
I am an 18 year old female
I cant get over my baby's father
We started dating about 4 years ago(2004-05)...
we had our son July of 2007...
I still love him to death,he wants to move on
I >>try but honestly I don't think i ever will
* I know I am totatlly over him, when without sadness or anger or panic, you can civilly and smilingly say "Hello!" to him on a chance meeting somewhere.
* When saying "us" is over does not trigger the waterworks anymore.
* When dating/hooking up with other guys does not feel like cheating.
I am on my way to this stage. I am hopeful to get here. :) Just broke up two days ago.
To all women who just broke up or on the verge of breaking up/breaking down, we can get through this! :)
I just got out of my first relationship because I found out he was cheating...I'm so hurt!! H was my first everything and I never met a boy who liked or even loved me that way....He hurt me so bad and I hate him for that..the thing that makes it worse I talked to the girl he cheated on me with and we both left him but he sweet talked her and now she back with him...she is so stupid...it just hurts because he went all out of his way to break my heart and he suceeded!!
Hello Tyra im Debbie 49 yrs old and i guess im a pretty sad and pathtic person im sick all the time and i am in a bad bad bad relationship he says he loves me more than anything in this world and i have his heart and how he dont want no one else in his life that there is no room in his life for no one else but at the same time hes on the net talkin to other women and getting the phone #'s he stays with me at my house and has a full time job but will not help me with bills he has let them get turned off before he will help me he buys no food but he loves to eat whatever i cook i love him so much its really killing me i stay sick at my stomach all the time i did weigh about 115lbs and we r now apart cause i cant take no more and now i cant eat when i think about all the things i have let him do to me i cant eat i am now down to 84lbs if u can please give me some advise as to how to get over this i really need some help and im not asking im begging for help im to the point i dont know what to do anymore i just want to go to bed and stay there if i didnt have to get up i would never get up. there r days i would rather be dead than go through what hes putting me through everything i have said in the above is just a small part the story is much bigger than what i have said so far if i told u everything here i would never stop writting it would be a book by the time i was through.please please i need help
Hello Tyra im 49 yrs old and i guess im a pretty sad and pathtic person im sick all the time and i am in a bad bad bad relationship he says he loves me more than anything in this world and i have his heart and how he dont want no one else in his life that there is no room in his life for no one else but at the same time hes on the net talkin to other women and getting the phone #'s he stays with me at my house and has a full time job but will not help me with bills he has let them get turned off before he will help me he buys no food but he loves to eat whatever i cook i love him so much its really killing me i stay sick at my stomach all the time i did weigh about 115lbs and we r now apart cause i cant take no more and now i cant eat when i think about all the things i have let him do to me i cant eat i am now down to 84lbs if u can please give me some advise as to how to get over this i really need some help and im not asking im begging for help im to the point i dont know what to do anymore i just want to go to bed and stay there if i didnt have to get up i would never get up. there r days i would rather be dead than go through what hes putting me through everything i have said in the above is just a small part the story is much bigger than what i have said so far if i told u everything here i would never stop writting it would be a book by the time i was through.please please i need help
:[
I am in a VERY serious relationship..and it's getting SO complicated. You know, I used to be the girl that would give her friends advice about how to move on and get back to themselves. It really is unbelievable.
EVERY last one of you would agree that just ONE of the problems I have with him should be enough for me to call it an end.
-He tunes me out when we're watching television (even during the commercials) and snaps at me when he does reply
-He is 25 and won't get a job !!
-He doesn't seem to appreciate anything..at all.
My brain says call it quits..but my heart says get married. I just read that entire list..and it feels like if we DID break up..I would be stuck in the past forever. :[
If any of y'all have some encouraging words..send me an e-mail. My address is Nicolephilo@yahoo.com
:]
[p.s. I LOVE YOU Tyra]
:[
I am in a VERY serious relationship..and it's getting SO complicated. You know, I used to be the girl that would give her friends advice about how to move on and get back to themselves. It really is unbelievable.
EVERY last one of you would agree that just ONE of the problems I have with him should be enough for me to call it an end.
-He tunes me out when we're watching television (even during the commercials) and snaps at me when he does reply
-He is 25 and won't get a job !!
-He doesn't seem to appreciate anything..at all.
My brain says call it quits..but my heart says get married. I just read that entire list..and it feels like if we DID break up..I would be stuck in the past forever. :[
If any of y'all have some encouraging words..send me an e-mail. My address is Nicolephilo@yahoo.com
:]
[p.s. I LOVE YOU Tyra]
hey tyra....
well....i was on myspace one day =] and umm i seen that there was this guy posting up bulletins....then i clicked on his page and ever since i seen him...i was like WOW :0 he just caught my attention...we started talking and i will try to come up with a conversation and he would just put lol or something and i thought i was like bothering him then i asked him and he said no. that he loves to meet new people that i wasn't bothering him at all. and u know wat tyra not to be conceited or anything but ALOT of guys like me and i have alot of guys after me and its kind of weird when i get like this for a guy. cuz its usually them getting like dat for me. he texts me and stuff i mean he lives in he same place i do. hes 1 year older than me but hes so confusing...the things he says makes me believe that he really does likes me & then other things he says makes me believe that i am just a girl who never crosses his mind. sometimes he tells me im beautiful but than the next day when i text him he doesn't reply until late at night. i thought it was maybe because he had a job but its not that. hes bare 15 he cant get a job yet. im turning 15 in december & i dont know its just very confusing. i dont know if i should keep talking to him or just stop. what should i do? please help me. i love ur show!! i watch it EVERYDAY!...ur my role model :D
hey tyra,
bout a four or five months ago this guy i really liked started talkin to me and everything was goin well, but then he started askin me for favors or if i would do stuff for and im talkin bout really personal stuff. i would tell him no, dont wanna do that but he wouldn't let off, so i started to give in to what he wanted me to do, but eventually he more and more, and each time i wuld tell him no, but then i'd give in. after bout two or three months of this he asked me if would go all the way with him and me bein a virgin, i wanted to wait, but on the other hand i really, really liked him, so like all the other times with him, i found it hard to say no, so one day not long after that we had sex and i lost my virginity to him. the only thing i found funny bout everything is that he still hasn't contacted me, other than that i'm completely fine and although i still like him it wasn't easy for me to let him go but with time it became easy to say, he's not worth it and to move on, ocasionally i think bout him, but the past is the past and nobody can undo it. so us women gotta stick together and move on, because their is someone better for all of us.
So my now ex-boyfriend and I were going steady for 3months,with no headaches no stress or nothing.All of a sudden out of the blue he asked if he could make love to me,but i was only fifteen,and so not ready for that.he broke up with me the next day,then two weeks later came and apoligized.Aftre a month the same thing happened,but this time he wrote me letter saying how nice and innocent i am and that I should find someone who would wait till I was ready.I was depressed for two months,and i drastically loosed so much wait which wasn't healthy cuz i now wieghed 95 pounds.But a miracle happened that would change my life forever,I met my future the next year.We dated for 5years and got married January 19th 2008!!!!!!!!!I am soooo grateful for my ex breaking my heart cause if he didn't I might have never found true happiness.So to every woman don't give up and keep praying!!!!!!!!!
I know when im over an ex.. when he suddenly comes to mind after 2 months.
and im like Eric who?
and then i think back.. and im like.. ohh yeahh him? what about him?
Also when hes on facebook or msn and i just dont wanna message him because i have no desire in talking to him.