Wed. Jun 11, 2008 | 9:52 AM

How to make "I'm sorry" work for you

The sad truth: You can bat your eyelashes, and put on your best droopy-lipped puppy dog face...but there are times when flirting your way through an apology doesn't work (gasp!). We know, swallowing your pride is about as fun as, well, saying "I'm sorry." But whether you're trying to get back in your boss' good graces after an uber-flub at the office, or trying to win back your boyfriend's heart after an unfortunate flirting session with the bartender (we know, you were just being friendly!), there's a right and wrong way to say you're sorry.

Do it sooner rather than Later
Just rip off the band-aid -- quickly. Once you know you've messed up, fess up. Wait too long, and you just might be apologizing for waiting to apologize. And that's just excessive.

Choose Your Words
Few things in this life are more make-your-head-explode annoying than when you're arguing with your man and his apology includes some form of "I'm sorry that you can't get over it." You want someone to apologize for what they DID, right? It's safe to say that "my bad" doesn't work either. You've got to own up to your faux pas. "I'm sorry I did that" or "I made a mistake" are much, much better. Really, an insincere apology is worse than no apology at all.

Grand Gestures
Guys have this move down. When you screw up, send flowers. This one's worked for centuries. In fact, put your florist on speed dial.

Virtual Sorry
This is tempting. Email is fast, and texting is even faster. And it would save you from the potential awkwardness of a face-to-face apology. But keying a quick "SRY" into your cell just isn't very sincere.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered
If you absolutely can't face someone, put your stellar penmanship to good use and write a letter. The best part? You can write down exactly what you mean without falling into the emotional minefield that sometimes comes with big apologies. This way, if the person is still super-upset, you won't witness the explosion. Plus, there's something retro and sweet about a letter. It shows that you've really put time and thought into your apology.


NEXT: A Strip Tease to Lose those Unflattering Jeans!
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Posted by Joy ugwu 01/21/09 2:55 PM
 
i one day send him some message not to call me again so he became anger with me and asked without he has done something bad to me and i said no and i really need to apolose to him but i dont have any idea of saying i am sorry to him.
Posted by ama 08/30/08 6:00 AM
 
me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years ...since i was in the 8th grade.. i am now graduated. we have went from living IN THE SAME CITY .. to opposite sides of the country and remaining together/..we now live together after 5 yrs..while he was away and we were apart..i did some things that were wrong and he did also ...my part being worse..i didnt wanna lose him over things we did while we were aprt...i had to apologize and let him know tht i knew what i did was wrong and tht he meant the world to me. he understood and now we just came to conclusion tht the past is the past and tht now were are completly for each other and that is that!we got past it and let our love take over! we are now engaged and plan to get our own house and plan our wedding...EVENTUALLY!!
Posted by vanessa balsley 08/25/08 4:58 PM
 
I am 15 years old and recently got out of a really serious relationship. We dated for practically 2 years. Over the first summer we had an issue of trust. I started liking someone else and he found out. We broke up but after begging and convincing there was no cheating involved he took me back. Now months later something like that kinda happened again. I cheated on him. i didn't even like the guy! I had only met him twice. The first time i was kinda impaired..to say the least..and the second time totally levelheaded. but i fought him off the first, and not the second. I had my friends do a little covor-up job and he ended up not finding out. Then we broke up ( im convinced that thing went downhill mostly because of the cheatng/lying, even though he didn;t know about it.) but he found out. He spent a day yelling at me & calling me every word he could think of. Now we are at a point where we talk for hours every once in a while, but he still says he would never date me again. This is hard because i know he's th perfect one for me. I love him. He is my bestfriend. everything has always been easy between us. It just owrks perfectly. Now i have no hope. and i don;t know what to do...how to win him back & earn his trust.
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Hey Tyra I hope you get this Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. He is a big part of my life we have our hard times but we get through them. Things have been really rocky lately I am trying to pursue a singing career and thats going no where I am currently un employed have been for 5mnths I know thats rediculous and he works in the mines on shift work I feel so bad like guilty I dont ask him for money unless I need it. Tyra some times we both say really hurtful things to each other and really try to hurt each other I really want us to work on it but he just wont seek or get any help once he admitted to me that he realises wat he has said to me was wrong a week later and wants to appologise but by the time he does he says its too late. Me and him haven't had the best of time together but one thing I do know I dont want to loose him because theres that side of him no one but i know that is beautiful and I hold on to that. I am of a brown culture which I'm maori New Zealander and he is a whte Australian our back ground in the way we were brought up is completely different you will understand if you met us lol. He buys me the cutest gifts and makes me feel special to him sometimes but I make him feel spcial all the time he knows how much he means to me. I just wanted to know if you could please make a shout out to my partner on tv and say Darren Waiz loves you with all her
Posted by Waiora 07/01/08 3:21 AM
 
i would agree that saying sorry is very hard i often found myself in situation where my fiancee and i have really loud arguments and i want to learn how to control my anger i dont abuse him but when he gets me upset i does want to explode like he should do the right thing all the time not making any mistakes of any sort i know that only happens in fairy tale but knowing that he is much mature than me i wont expect him to do things to get me vex. i sometimes wonder how to apologise to him but i think writing a letter is a very good idea i would try that. my wedding is coming up in november im hoping that i dont have to argue with him during that time. thanks for reading this and for the idea. i watch your show every evening after work. i live in trinidad by the way. i find you very beautiful. enjoy your day, take care jan.
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