Ask The Guys: Question #6
05/09/08 8:13 AM
QUESTION: Women are becoming more and more powerful and independent, but every woman, no matter how liberated, still likes to feel 'taken care of' by her man. So how do you feel about traditional male gender roles in the age of gender equality?
- Alexandra
Bachelor #1 -
What better time to answer a question about "traditional male gender roles" than after drinking a beer and eating three different foods with names that all start with the word "chili," while watching the Spurs win game three of the NBA western conference semifinals -- all after getting home from my first dance lesson?
I learned how to foxtrot, cha-cha, rhumba and waltz. I'm a pretty good example of a non-traditional male.
I've always been attracted to confident, independent, smart women. My last two serious girlfriends were smarter than me, and I never had a problem with that. At times, they both made more money than me, and offered to take care of me in exchange for my hand in marriage. Okay, maybe not in those exact words, but I've been lucky enough, in my past, to have had girlfriends who have been supportive of my creative endeavors.
So, personally, I'm totally comfortable living outside of society's gender role mold. Why? Because I'm a confident, independent, smart man, and I'm comfortable with myself, which is what I think this question is more about than "feminism."
If a man can't handle a strong minded woman, than that says a lot about his confidence. An ambitious and/or determined woman does not equal a feminist. I'm a strong advocate for the lady who breaks the tradition of letting her man be the boss all the time.
But, remember, relationships do take compromise. Just as you women want to be "taken care of" every now and then, we want to take care of you. So, let us every now and then. Don't try to be tough all the time, or we'll show you a roach and see how tough you really are. Sure, I may scream when roaches fly at me (they fly down here in south Texas), but I'll still kill it, baby. Because I'm a man.
There are still a lot of guys out there who think they should always be in charge. It's your responsibility to set those guys straight. The good ones will see how valuable a strong, confident woman is, and stick around. By definition, feminism means: the doctrine advocating rights of women equal to those of men. Would you really want to be with a guy who's not okay with that?
Bachelor #2 - I'm sure that I'm in the unpopular minority when I say, gender equality means gender equality and not some ridiculous set of other guidelines just because one person has a set of breasts and the other doesn't (at least not the kind with mammaries.)
If I'm walking out of a building I might hold the door open for you whether you're a guy or a girl, but I definitely won't do it because you're a girl. Same if I'm riding on the subway, "Oh, you want to sit where I'm sitting? Well, listen. The 19th Amendment gave you the right to vote, not the right to force me to let you sit in my spot." Again, gender equality MEANS gender equality.
That being said, only the biggest bum in the world wouldn't display some chivalry when courting that special someone. If you pick a girl up for a date: open the door for her, foot the bill and get her home. And, hey, since it is the 21st Century and there's such a notion as gender equity, women should be aware enough to, at least, make the gesture of offering to go Dutch on a meal - note: good guys will totally let you entertain this and then when you go to the bathroom, we'll sneakily pay the bill on our own.
Besides, if you're a cool girl you won't get all femi-nazi about taking care of your guy in other ways, aside from just offering to pick up a tab now and then. There's nothing oppressive about cooking for a man, and you know we're all seduced by a good pot roast.
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Well, I'm a woman but I would love to comment on this. I know that in the bible, God tells women to be submissive to their husbands, and tells the husbands to love their wife as Christ loves the church. It DOES NOT mean that being submissive means we have to be ordered around by a big headed husband. Women have taken a huge step in history that made strong, independent, etc impressions on our country today. I think that is great! But what I'm saying is that I believe that we are supposed to LET our husbands be our protecters. It's written in our hearts- that is just how God made us. No matter how tough and independent a woman is, I believe somewhere in her heart, she would desire a man that would step up to the plate and make a commitment to protect her.. That is what I believe.
Well, I'm a woman but I would love to comment on this. I know that in the bible, God tells women to be submissive to their husbands, and tells the husbands to love their wife as Christ loves the church. It DOES NOT mean that being submissive means we have to be ordered around by a big headed husband. Women have taken a huge step in history that made strong, independent, etc impressions on our country today. I think that is great! But what I'm saying is that I believe that we are supposed to LET our husbands be our protecters. It's written in our hearts- that is just how God made us. No matter how tough and independent a woman is, I believe somewhere in her heart, she would desire a man that would step up to the plate and make a commitment to protect her.. That is what I believe.
wow craig. guess you aren't voting for Hillary.
"So how do you feel about traditional male gender roles in the age of gender equality?"
Wake up! This isn't the 1960's when the thrust of the ERA was "equality".
The "NOWified" version of today's role for women is one of power and control of males, diminishing their importance in every phase of today's society.
Look at virtually any area and you will see indisputable proof.
(1) Anchor positions in TV broadcasting shifted from predominantly male twenty years ago to predominantly female today. If it was wrong then, it's still wrong now to have a gender bias.
(2) Increasingly males are portrayed as stupid or lazy in a wide variety of television commercials created on a Feminist leaning Madison Ave approach.
(3) 86% of the victims who report a sexual assault by a female are not even believed by authorities. Less than one half of one per cent of the females who commit child abuse or neglect ever serve a day in jail. Why would there be any doubt that the "Sex Offender" issue is the Nuclear Bomb of Feminism.
(4) In a related note, have you ever realized "infanticide" (overwhelmingly committed by mothers) is rarely if ever included in statistics describing child abuse. Why?
(5) Another two by four for your head: Gay men are often wealthy and well financed because they work together and support one another (real estate and other business transactions). Lesbian women rarely share any similar level of success because of their anger and bitterness about life. Is that an admirable goal of "independence" or pseudo "equality"?
(6) Why do we still live in a day an age when a father loses custody of his child or children 80% of the time? Why should a man be ordered to pay up to 160% of his GROSS income for child support and when he is incapable of doing so, be subject to a felony conviction under Federal Law?
(7) How is it that something like "The Five Year Plan" can even exist? Because Feminist Lawyers promote the deception with young women every day.
(8) Here's one that is a lot easier to understand. Why are 95% of the funds raised for cancer research in public events like 5k runs or special "walks", earmarked for breast cancer research when more men contract and die from prostate cancer every year? For that matter, since fathers, sons, husbands and other men show up for the breast cancer events, why do no women show up to support those same males to fight prostate cancer?
Who is at fault for the pendulum swinging far too much to the Feminist side of the goals of the ERA? MEN. They were too busy working their butts off trying to support their families and give them all the materials goods they demanded, rather than take the time to say "NO" both at home and in our society over the past thirty years!
'Nuff said. Deal with the truth! Real women support the original ERA, not today's Amazonian interpretation.