Mon. Sep 24, 2007 | 1:13 PM

Divorce Panel

You're in a great relationship. He just might be "the one." So how can you be sure he's marriage material?

Psychotherapist Dr. Garry Corgiat says you should approach your relationship like a business. It might not be the most romantic idea, but treating your mate like a business partner just might work. Here are some ideas to think about before taking the marriage plunge.

1. Is this the kind of person you would want to open a business with? Could you run a company together? If not, he's probably not the right guy.
2. Does he communicate?
3. Is he a team player?
4. Does he have a good work ethic?
5. Can he handle finances?

Think About Money

The intimacy might be great, but you're not going to think about what happens between the sheets if you find out you're in financial trouble. Money coach Lynnette Khalfani says the number one thing people need to do is check their partner's FICO score. That three digit number tells you just how how financially healthy your partner is (or isn't) and you can decide how to move forward from there.

Make A Decision to Love

Father Ken Deasy says you have to commit to love. If you decide to love, you'll always have to work on compassion.


NEXT: What It Was Really Like Getting Fired
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HI Tyra let me start off byy sayin love the show but i really disagree with the lil qyiz im 20 and my husband is 28 we've been 2gether for a year and married for 11 months you shouldnt base america on a quiz or anything of that nature.
Posted by dianelys 09/25/07 1:04 PM
 
Tyra... I love your show but I have to admit, this one made me mad. I've been married for 3 years (my husband and I are close to 30) and I really disagree with the quiz (who made Cosmo an expert on marriage? *though I do like their sex tips =-) Your guests seemed really uninterested in marriage(especially the one that still has her umbilical cord attached to her mom,) so even I could see that they are not heading in the right direction. It just made me realize that a lot of people are not at all interested in fighting for their marriages or for love. So let me tell you: I am hot, fierce, strong,and independent yet I find the balance to make things work. AND I would not trade my husband for the world (mother-in-laws, financial issues, fights and all.) Times might get hard sometimes, but it's all good, we get through it. =-) Still love ya girl... ~Maria
Posted by Maria 09/25/07 12:52 PM
 
the show about marriage reminded me of like jerry springer.. everyone was just attacking everyone.
Posted by michelle 09/25/07 12:46 PM
 
Hi Tyra, I love watching your show...but I didn't really agree with the test you had. I have been with my husband for 6 years and he was my high school sweetheart we have now been married for 2 years and have a beautiful daughter together...(we also lost a daughter and that has brought us even closer). I think that marriage is based on person to person. Remember not everyone is the same!
Posted by Melissa 09/25/07 12:45 PM
 
Hey Tyra i just watched todays show and i had to laugh. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 6. We both took the test and I scored a 0 he scored a 3. I love your show and I watch it everyday but I think this test is a bunch of crap. If anyone really thinks they can base a relationship on a test like this, they need more help than in their relationship.
Posted by Tara 09/25/07 12:36 PM
 
Hi Tyra,this show is one of the most interesting to me,but I thing there was a lot of desagreement,like I'm not agree about the scores to tell if you doom of divorce or not,numbers can't tell what's really in the person's heart,and Heather,I think even if she loves Allan,their is something under it,she seems like into herself that sometime she forgot about ALLAN,like when she said it's none of his business,those kind of word don't help in relationship,AND ALLAN need to work on his sensitivity it's not good to say it's ok all time sometimes he need to step up and tell her that what she's doing or saying is not right,it's a part of sincerity. And CHRISTINE,what she said about Matt excepting her mom is very important,Idon't thing it's possible to love chicken and hate chick,her mom doesn't need to be into her relationship,but he need learn how to know her better.Your mom raise you for years and years,and one day you choose a guy over her,to me it don't make sens,if he loves you he need to tolerate your mom too.I'm married now,but if my mom wasn't agree about it ,I won't do it,because God forbit if we had a problem toomorrow,who do I face,on what shoulder will i CRY,OF course my mom's. I will choose my mom over a guy because,she's my everything and men change when they want.
Posted by sisi 09/25/07 12:34 PM
 
Hello, I was greatly enthraled in your show today. Me and my fiance are both 23 and have been together going on five years. I neither agreed nor disagreed with the quiz. I would say that that test should not be based on an individual but based on the couple. I think all five areas are important when discussing marriage but should be looked at more in the couples similarity to each other. For example, there may be issues presenting themselves in a marriage with a person who makes 50K, is jewish, college educated, and with married parents who is married to someone who makes 25K, is christian, not college educated, who's parents are divorced. So to all of those people out there who scored below a 4 (like me) do what i did. Take the test first for yourself then for your spouse. Compare the two, then look at the questions where your answers differed. For us i am just going to be aware of those areas and be attentive to the fact that those may be problem areas :)
Posted by Stephanie 09/25/07 12:28 PM
 
Although I agree with much of the advise of the panel, the quiz neglected to take into consideration other areas of compatability of the people in a relationship. I would have scored 2 and my husband 1, before we were married. A large part of the reason we have lasted is that we were in a similar stage in life. We both made less than $50K, but we had few needs and low overhead. We were willing to work our way up instead of starting there. We were both young (18 & 20) but both independent & both open to discussion because of our commitment to each other and our future together. Has it been hard?...without a doubt, but we didn't divorce. Divorce was the last thing either of us ever wanted, and we've made it thru income loss, death of parents, in-law fallouts, parenthood, debt recovery, and yes, even adultery. Each and every situation has made us, and our relationship stronger & more precious. This is what is lacking in many pre-nuptual preparation...commitment & the tools & support to stay the course. FYI: we still score 2 & 1 respectively and we just celebrated our 25th year of marriage!
Posted by Amy 09/25/07 12:16 PM
 
Tyra, My husband and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. He is 31 and I am 28. We knew each other for 10 years, then dated for one and was engaged for one. We took the quiz separately, and it gave us a laugh. I received a ZERO and he a 9. Either way it was fun and it just emphasized the fact that things can and will get hard, but that is when you roll up your sleeves, take each other's hand and get down to work. Everyday we make sure that we try and bring out the best of each other. And every night we kiss and say we love each other. Statistics only go so far, it up to us to take it the rest of the way. Over all I agreed with the panel. They were speaking in the case of "At this moment, if things do not change". With that I agree that if those couples do not change how things go then they will not last, yet I have hope for them that they see that also and do make the changes!
Posted by Heather 09/25/07 12:14 PM
 
Tyra,Tyra I love your show, but i so do not agree with your show today with the divorce quiz. I was 19 and 4 days when i married my Husband, he was 24. We only new each other for 2 1/2 months when we tied the knot. And we r struggling with our money and stuff. but we support each other and have a heathy relationship. We have 2 children ages 5yrs and a 4 months old boys. It will be 7 yrs this Oct. we been married. =) I dont regrat it and would do it again. And we have a great marriage. And we will be together for the next 70 yrs. The God Lord Willing. Well thats my 2 cents.
Posted by Kerry 09/25/07 12:08 PM
 
Greetings, I found the topic today very interesting. I agree with much of the panels’ advice,however, didn't agree with the results of the open quiz. I scored a 2 :-(. As a wife of 17 years, and married at the age of 23 (both of us). We have gone though ALOT of changes/transformations but we are still hanging in there for each other. It wasn't (at least for me) a laboring task to decide to take that step nor was I the type of person who just couldn't wait to be married. He just seemed to be the right guy, with the right kind of dreams. We just remain focus on our togetherness while we learn "Together" life lessons.
Posted by Sky 09/25/07 11:52 AM
 
Hey Tyra, I am watching today's show and I have to say that I really dislike the panel. They are being way too negative. All they are doing is analyzing EVERYONE ELSE'S relationships and it is easy to make judgements when it is not about yourself. Thanks.
Posted by Tiffany 09/25/07 11:50 AM
 
I would like to know the source of the beautiful sunburst pendant that Star Jones was wearing yesterday.
Posted by Angela 09/25/07 11:44 AM
 
I have a comment on your doomed for divorce show. I was married at 19 and became pregnant,also my husband only made $7.00 an hour. Attended night school to further his career. We will be happily married for 20 yrs. come this Nov. and have 2 wonderful children 19 and 15. Love is a choice. when things get tough people tend to move on and think the grass is greener somewhere else. Marriage takes work and communication. A better approach should have been done with this show. Because according to your survey my marriage shouldn't have lasted.Because I only scored a 2.
Posted by Elizabeth 09/25/07 11:43 AM
 
Hello Tyra, I just wanted to comment on todays show, it was very interesting. I took your quiz and because my husband and I dont make over 50,000 and got married befor I was 25 I only go a 2 so i guess im doomed for divorce, jk. My husband and I have been married for 4 yrs. and together for 7 and we are very happy. I will admit that we have had our up and downs but that only made our relationship stronger. I think that quiz was very stupid, but I still loved the show today. Thanks for all the good info on marriage. Take care
Posted by Heather 09/25/07 11:23 AM



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