Mon. Sep 24, 2007 | 1:13 PM

Divorce Panel

You're in a great relationship. He just might be "the one." So how can you be sure he's marriage material?

Psychotherapist Dr. Garry Corgiat says you should approach your relationship like a business. It might not be the most romantic idea, but treating your mate like a business partner just might work. Here are some ideas to think about before taking the marriage plunge.

1. Is this the kind of person you would want to open a business with? Could you run a company together? If not, he's probably not the right guy.
2. Does he communicate?
3. Is he a team player?
4. Does he have a good work ethic?
5. Can he handle finances?

Think About Money

The intimacy might be great, but you're not going to think about what happens between the sheets if you find out you're in financial trouble. Money coach Lynnette Khalfani says the number one thing people need to do is check their partner's FICO score. That three digit number tells you just how how financially healthy your partner is (or isn't) and you can decide how to move forward from there.

Make A Decision to Love

Father Ken Deasy says you have to commit to love. If you decide to love, you'll always have to work on compassion.


NEXT: What It Was Really Like Getting Fired
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It's amazing how many couples don't think about the vital things that can doom a marriage... me included. I'm 21 and married to a 20 year old. I guess you can say this early marriage is due to the fact that I got pregant... (yeah I know, I'm pathetic) He's a corporal in the Marine Corps and I now live in San Diego and have a 3 month old daughter. We've only been married since January and I already am dying to get out. He is in so much debt with all his hasty spending habits, and has lost my love due to his porn addiction (which I didn't know about until after we got married... I caught him in the act. YUCK!), and his constant lying. The lengths he will go to to cover up what he has done is unbelievable. He tries to guilt me into believing him and gets angry at me when I tell him I don't. He eventually confesses, but never to me. And what REALLY angers me is that the ONLY reason he is now trying to change is because I caught him. Otherwise he would still be looking at porn on our computer and wasting money. He is a TOTALLY different person from who I thought I knew. That's because he was lying to me throughout the whole relationship... who he was, what he did.. and all the BAD habits he had. I feel so stupid and I hate myself for marrying him. I could have done it on my own. I shouldn't have married him just for the sake of our daughter because now I am miserable and she is going to grow up thinking it's ok to be sad. I think now he is actually trying to make a real effort
Posted by Carissa 09/26/07 10:38 AM
 
I love the fanny pack! Actually, I was quite disappointed when they were no longer considered "in style". I had several fanny packs back in the day...and donated them to the Salvation Army... I hope to win so I can definitely ROCK IT again! Thanks for bringing them back!!! Gotta Love It!!!!
Posted by Rhea 09/26/07 10:13 AM
 
I just had to comment about the Cosmo quiz on yesterday's show. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7 years and best friends for 8 years. My parents are divorced and his are still married. I have to disagree with the score of 2 that I got on the quiz. I have attended college and have a religious affiliation. Those are the 2 points I got. If anything, my parents getting divorced taught me more about love and the right kind of relationship to be in. I don't believe that I am "tainted" by it as the quiz suggests. Also, I am a stay at home mom, so our annual income is less that $50,000, but I couldn't think of a better way to contribute to our family's wealth than by raising our son. We wew both young when we got married-I just turned 24 and he turned 25. I married my best friend and couldn't imagine anyone could love me more for the person I am than my best friend. I think that the quiz was quite generalized-you can't judge everyone by the money they make, the past and their age. I think to say that you are "doomed for divorce" is a little dramatic. Maybe it should have been called, "Are you at risk for divorce?" At least that doesn't make it sound like those of us that scored lower have no future in a marriage.
Posted by Rikki 09/26/07 9:32 AM
 
I watched the show. I wish it had been on 37 yrs. ago. I was 17, he was 19. We made it 37 yrs. together. The part about talking, is very important. He never wanted to talk, and would think I could read his mind about the little things, would blame me for not knowing the things he did not talk about. It only got worse as time went on. I got tired of being the "B" who didn't know anything and could not do anything right. So after 37 yrs. I was gone. It is not easy to start over with nothing. But the pain of loving someone, and not getting love back is worse. We had all the other things. Money, I had the Faith, but what took us down the Divorce path was not talking out our feelings, dislikes, and all the petty things that get under your skin. Thanks for all the great work you are doing on your show.
Posted by Cathy 09/26/07 8:48 AM
 
I watched the show. I wish it had been on 37 yrs. ago. I was 17, he was 19. We made it 37 yrs. together. The part about talking, is very important. He never wanted to talk, and would think I could read his mind about the little things, would blame me for not knowing the things he did not talk about. It only got worse as time went on. I got tired of being the "B" who didn't know anything and could not do anything right. So after 37 yrs. I was gone. It is not easy to start over with nothing. But the pain of loving someone, and not getting love back is worse. We had all the other things. Money, I had the Faith, but what took us down the Divorce path was not talking out our feelings, dislikes, and all the petty things that get under your skin. Thanks for all the great work you are doing on your show.
Posted by Cathy 09/26/07 8:40 AM
 
I watched the show. I wish it had been on 37 yrs. ago. I was 17, he was 19. We made it 37 yrs. together. The part about talking, is very important. He never wanted to talk, and would think I could read his mind about the little things, would blame me for not knowing the things he did not talk about. It only got worse as time went on. I got tired of being the "B" who didn't know anything and could not do anything right. So after 37 yrs. I was gone. It is not easy to start over with nothing. But the pain of loving someone, and not getting love back is worse. We had all the other things. Money, I had the Faith, but what took us down the Divorce path was not talking out our feelings, dislikes, and all the petty things that get under your skin. Thanks for all the great work you are doing on your show.
Posted by Cathy 09/26/07 8:33 AM
 
I watched the show. I wish it had been on 37 yrs. ago. I was 17, he was 19. We made it 37 yrs. together. The part about talking, is very important. He never wanted to talk, and would think I could read his mind about the little things, would blame me for not knowing the things he did not talk about. It only got worse as time went on. I got tired of being the "B" who didn't know anything and could not do anything right. So after 37 yrs. I was gone. It is not easy to start over with nothing. But the pain of loving someone, and not getting love back is worse. We had all the other things. Money, I had the Faith, but what took us down the Divorce path was not talking out our feelings, dislikes, and all the petty things that get under your skin. Thanks for all the great work you are doing on your show.
Posted by Cathy 09/26/07 8:30 AM
 
I think that Cosmo needs to re-evaluate those questions to target younger audiences. I am engaged to my soul mate and my perfect match, however Im still in college so of course im not making over 50,000. Also I will only be 23 when we say "i do" and the test told me that i have a higher risk of divorce. I love your show but im going to have to completely disregard this quiz because it is not appropriate to all walks of life. I know that i have found the one person that i want to spend my life with and this is what makes me happy :) Keep on making rockin' shows! i love you tyra!! :) xo Sarah ox
Posted by Sarah 09/26/07 8:14 AM
 
Tyra..I enjoyed the Sept. 25th show and the quiz. The questions were thought provoking. As for the age factor, it made me wonder if the age factor is to be considered if you're planning on a second marriage after age 25? As for income, money problems is a big factor in marital problems. I should know from my first marriage. If both made $50,000 then that would be ideal in my opinion!! But that doesn't always happen in the real world. How about more information on considering marriage the second time around.
Posted by Barbara 09/26/07 6:38 AM
 
hey tyra i watch ur showw errrrday i love it...... even though i may only be 15 years old i do feel like i have found the one dat i think dat i might want to marry he is 16 and we may both be young and people say dat we dont know wat love is but i truely feel like i am in love wit him he is the most caring peson dat i think i have ever met and he treats me wit the most up most respect and i love him for dat he is currently workin @ mc Donalds and i know it may not seem like nuttin right now but finacally 4 now he has his family for support if he needs anything he always tells me how much he loves me and how much i mean to him i think dat i love him alot can u send me some tips for dating i wanna let him know dat i am truly serious about our relationship thanks, luv yah tyra
Posted by monique 09/26/07 6:11 AM
 
I had my baby at age 15 i love my babie daddy but my parents dont my dad and him got n a big fight, so im confuse what should i do?im 17 years now...
Posted by jeanette t 09/25/07 11:49 PM
 
Hi Tyra, I love your show, but I was a little upset at your quiz today. I only scored a 2, but I disagree with the questions. I have been with my husband for 8years (3 dating and 5 married), I was also only 18 when we did marry. We both came from broken homes, and we do not make that much money. But we love each other and we are determined to make our marriage work. And so far it has, granted not always smoothly but that’s life. We put God first and then each other. With that we have become strong as a couple even when or family and friends gave us only 3 years. So far we have proven them wrong and we will continue to do so. Love Jasmine
Posted by Jasmine 09/25/07 6:56 PM
 
Tyra! That episode couldnt have showed at a more perfect time for me. Im getting married in 2 weeks to my Marine! Thankfully I passed. Im 19 and I have been thinking alot about my life long desision but my guts telling me that this is right. 15 days after I become his Mrs. he will be deploying for 7 months. But knowing that we have alot of what your experts said to make a marriage work makes me feel SOO much better. I wanna THANK YOU for putting any worries I had to rest!! I CANT WAIT TO BE HIS WIFEY!! :)
Posted by Ashley Acosta 09/25/07 6:55 PM
 
hi tyra! i dvr every episode of yours. i really liked the one on divorce. personally i only scored a 1, my husband scored an 8. we have been married a little over 6 years now and have a 10 month old son. my 1 point came from my religious affiliation, because of that...that is why i know "we" are not doomed for divorce. because we are both Christians, we put God first, then eachother, then our son...the way it should be. the Lord and our church helps guide us through any issues that might arise and we are able to work them out successfully. i do agree with the test and your guest therapists for most couples. they were right on with many of their statements...but for those of us that put our faith in the Lord and allow him to do his work...i think we are graded by a different test. love you tyra! keep up the great shows and fashion!
Posted by Annie 09/25/07 5:18 PM
 
Hey Tyra: Great show, I got an 8!! I do agree with the experts, I think both couples will fail unless they get help. I wish them both the best of luck. Love always Steve
Posted by Steve 09/25/07 4:59 PM



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